Juice with Junior

Hello one and all to the live-blog of "Brokeback Mountain," one of my very favorite films ever made!

If you've never read a movie live-blog before, what it is is basically me commenting on the movie as it happens complete with timestamps and pictures to help you follow along. I suggest that you grab a copy of the movie (and a DVD player natch) and open up the blog at the same time so you can get the full experience.

As this is a live-blog, I'm not really gonna talk much about what happened with the movie in terms of reactions or awards, so if you want to know that stuff, click the title and read the Wiki page. It's good btw. The only piece of information you should know beforehand is that when "Brokeback" premiered in New York City in December 2005, I saw it in theaters three times because I'm the gayest man in the entire world! Anyway, I will reference the different audience reactions to when I saw it but other than that everything you need to follow along is in the movie. p.s. if you haven't seen the movie, I wouldn't read on because we're breaking it all down. Be warned. p.s.s. this S is long so get comfy.

Ready to begin? Let's do this!



0:00 -- Like I said, I saw this movie in theaters 3 times. The second had the rowdiest crowd. Those people were ready for this movie. See, I saw it the Friday night it opened and that crowd was very quiet because none of us knew what to expect. By the time Saturday night rolled around, people--gay men mostly--knew what the movie was about and were ready to get down. The second time crowd were the ones who clapped and cheered the moment the title flashed on the screen. Also, this shot: the reason why director Ang Lee is God.


0:01 -- Our first glimpse of the late, great Heath Ledger as Ennis Del Mar.


0:01 -- The helpful intertitle tells us that it is 1963 in Signal, Wyoming, which does exist, and I'm sure is thisclose to being the next metropolitan center of the world. Except no. We are to assume that Ennis, although we don't know his name yet, has hitched here on a truck for some as yet unrevealed purpose. Hotness, perhaps? Listen, I'm telling you now that we're stopping the live-blog at any point Heath or anyone else in this movie looks incredibly hot.

Which will be a lot obvs. I wanted to talk about trucking for a second. I was recently driving to my parent's house and stopped at a truck stop in Eastern Pennsylvania to get gas. There, I noticed a Mini Mart and decided that my trip could not commence unless I had some Cool Ranch Doritos. So I went inside where I encountered two burly truckers talking about how it was a b!tch to cross Jersey to get to New York. Yes, these truckers were handsome but that's not the point. This story isn't like that. My life is not a Julius cartoon (NSFW).

As I listened to them--one had come from Arizona, the other Ohio--I was amazed that this was their job. Driving a truck across the United States was their job. Can you even imagine? I can't. Like to see so much... You know what? The movie just started and I'm already on a tangent. Let's continue...


0:03 -- As you can see, Signal... Not much to do. Anyway...


0:03 -- Ennis (still don't know his name) is waiting around looking all gorgeous. I really miss Heath Ledger. Like a lot.


0:03 -- When this dusty old truck put-puts up and we all prepare for our first glimpse of Jake Gyllenhaal as Jack Twist, the best named character in the history of characters.



0:03 -- First of all, Ennis is giving the first of many "Who does this b!tch think she is?" faces at Jack, and Jack is serving us all the first in many of his "This is me werking it" poses. I will document these faces and/or moves as the movie goes on. Back to when I saw this in theaters. The second time crowd like I said was rowdy and very, very horned up. These guys were ready to see Ennis and Jack get it in and we hadn't even learned their names yet. This entire sequence of the two of them staring at each other as they assessed the other literally garnered hoots and hollers from the second time crowd. They were ready.

Side Discussion: When do you think Ennis and Jack fall in love? I like to play this game every time I watch this movie and it is to decide exactly at what point do the men fall in love with each other. I think it happens at different times and for different reasons so we'll discuss as the movie goes on...


0:04 -- Finally, Joe Aguirre shows up and we get some forward momentum. Can we get a moment of silence for Randy Quaid's sanity? Was that a "no"?

Okay then. Inside Joe's office, he tells the boys that he needs two ranch hands to herd sheep up on (the fictional) Brokeback Mountain. Quaid proceeds to give an awful line reading about "allotments" and "pup tents" and pretends to get mad during a phone call that sounds clearly fake and the boys generally look unhappy, which makes sense because I mean come on.


0:06 -- The boys touch for the first time. They also introduce themselves so we know what their names are. Those names. Good work, Annie Proulx.

Side Discussion: Is Jack gay? My response: Hell yes, Jack is gay. Jack is very primarily sexually interested in men. I believe that he's attracted to Ennis from the first moment he sees him. He's not in love with Ennis, but he'd sure hit that.

We'll talk about Ennis later because his emotional life is SO much more complicated and we're only 6 minutes into a 2 hour and 15 minute movie.


0:06 -- I just love this shot. That's all.


0:07 -- So to get to know one another because they will be herding sheep together for several months, the boys go to a bar. At the bar, Jack, who I just mentioned is very gay, does this amazing thing of questioning Ennis about his life. My favorite question being "What, your folks run you off?" (all quotes I provide are from my memory of the movie as I am literally writing this from memory, that's how many times I've seen this movie. I know.)

If anyone at any time thinks Jack has not slept with men he's picked up at bars, this question proved them wrong. Why would a frontier family run off an able-bodied young worker in the 1960s? Perhaps because of The Ghey?

Jack's not a dumb boy. He knows what to ask.

There's more of the live-blog after the jump. Like the rest of the movie more...



0:08 -- The boys show up to begin herding (there will be plenty of pictures of sheep, don't worry) and the "field officer" if you will, is wearing this beret. Yes.



0:09 -- Meanwhile, as Ennis is trying to get work done, Jack is d!cking around showing off his rodeo skillz to subtly impress Ennis.

"Who does this b!tch think she is?" Ennis Face #2.


0:09 -- SHEEP BUTT!




0:09 -- This movie is so freakin' beautiful.

Side Question: Can someone tell me why exactly sheep need to be herded? Is it like they're all part of the Sheep Scouts and this is their wilderness exploration before they're either sheared or slaughtered? I'm legitimately asking.



0:10 -- Ang Lee Is a God Part 2


0:10 -- We're definitely also going to talk a lot about domesticity and how it played a role in Jack and Ennis falling in love, and how Brokeback Mountain allowed each man a chance to play a more feminine or masculine role at differing times in their relationship. Here the boys are building camp and silently getting to know one another.


0:11 -- I would now like to introduce you to the Moon of Desire. You see how far away it is? That's because the desire isn't that strong yet. Just wait.


0:11 -- BEANS!

I hate beans too. I think beans should only be eaten when there is no other food on the face of the earth left to eat. That's me.



0:12 -- Storywise, the boys are basically playing house. Jack has to sleep in a tent in the middle of the sheep to protect them from coyotes and whatnot and he's generally not happy, while Ennis is cooking and cleaning and being the best Betty Draper he can be. This is part 1 in a series I like to call "Ennis Being Domestic." I think the idea of taking care of someone is one of the reasons he starts to fall for Jack, but we aren't quite there yet.

But it is "Who does this b!tch think she is?" Ennis Face #3.



0:12 -- I just want to point out that this is the first and last time you see Ennis with this toy horse he carved. Where did it go!?


0:13 -- Ennis Being Domestic Part 2.


0:13 -- I loved it when Heath Ledger squinted. Pretty.


0:14 -- Yes, there will be exposition. So Ennis has gone up to the bridge where Joe instructed him to pick up supplies and food and drop off his shopping list with the field officer with the hat. Ennis requests soup (I know, right?) and the field officer is all "Too early in the summer for soup." And Ennis is all "Who the F are you? Are you up with them sheep in the mountain? What is it you do all day? Find new positions for your hat?!" Actually, Ennis didn't say any of that.

He grunted a little because Ennis is a grunter.


0:14 -- On the way back to the camp, Ennis encounters a bear who is none too pleased that Ennis has brought back beans again. I would have fainted.

I do not do bears.


0:14 -- Neither do the horses carrying all of Jack and Ennis' supplies and food.

The horse Ennis is riding on bucks and Ennis falls off, landing on his head.

This is not good, y'all.


0:15 -- Jack is all waiting at the camp site like "B!tch, where my dinner at?" when Ennis shows up sporting a gash on the side of his head and a nasty attitude because he probably spent hours trying to find and wrangle the horses with the supplies. Let's break.

Side Discussion: While I don't think that this is the moment Jack falls in love with Ennis, I think this is the moment when the audience sees that Jack has fallen in love with Ennis. How could you not? This beautiful man is cooking and cleaning for you every single day, not saying a peep in annoyance and now he's hurt himself for you. Yes, Jack loves him. Ennis, I don't think Ennis is there yet.


0:16 -- Jack takes that ridiculous ascot off his neck and uses it to tend to Ennis' head wound. I'm getting choked up already. I cannot start crying 16 minutes in!

Anyway, I don't think Ennis is in love yet, but I think this is the first moment he realizes that he is loved by a man, which is a completely foreign--and possibly exciting and positive--feeling for him. Ennis hasn't really been surrounded by love most of his life so he may not be able to articulate it, but there's something about Jack that makes him want to take care of him, despite all of Jack's annoying bravado and the talking... God, all his talking.



0:17 -- This is why Ennis decides to step up his game. If my baby wants meat, my baby get meat. By the way, the first time I saw the movie, the crowd reacted like Ennis killed Bambi or something. It's a moose/elk thing. Bears kill those things for food all the time, I think. Not sure. Too late. It's dead.


0:17 -- Ennis Being Domestic Part 4 (we skipped one). Also I just love the bit with the salt shaker. Ennis was always so particular, wasn't he?

Exposition: Jack is still complaining about having to sleep with the sheep and Ennis nobly offers his services with taking care of them, despite being able to cook, clean, keep house, build, hunt, decorate, and do basically everything better than Jack.

Jack accepts and makes this face...


0:19 -- Homeboy is in love.


0:19 -- No peeking, Jackie!


0:20 -- The second time crowd, you know the horny ones, totally misinterpreted this shot. Basically, Jack is showing off to Ennis because he wants Ennis to like him back. Jack has not yet understood that Ennis is not as expressive as he is. To achieve this goal, Jack shows off his rodeo belt buckle, which fails to impress Ennis; this is the appropriate reaction. The second time crowd, hungry for sex, started hollering like Ang Lee was gonna smack a hardcore oral scene in the middle of the movie. No.

The scene that follows is heartbreakingly beautiful. In it, Jack prods Ennis to talk more about his family. Ennis, feeling comfortable around this man who cares for him so, unleashes a torrent (for Ennis) of words about how his sister and brother cared for him but left to move on with their lives and how he ended up at Brokeback Mountain.

Jack realizes that Ennis is finally warming up to him.



0:22 -- "That's the most I've said all year." Me: kvelling.

Jack then proceeds to act like an idiot when Ennis, displaying sarcasm for the first time, slyly intones that his father thought rodeo cowboys was all "f*ck ups," which is true. Instead of reciting Shakespeare to counter this stereotype, Jack dances around like an idiot and falls all over himself. Jack, so charming.


0:23 -- I literally only included this because every single pixel is sheep. SHEEP!


0:24 -- Ennis Being Domestic Part 5

I love this moment. Ennis, yes, the tent is even. It's also... a f*cking tent!

Side Discussion: I think somewhere around here Ennis has fallen in love with Jack although he doesn't yet have the vocabulary to call it that. Ennis has no idea how he feels; he just knows that he really likes Jack and likes himself when he's around Jack and just wants everything to be perfect for Jack. Jack meanwhile is literally floating on a cloud. It's why he's constantly being so obnoxious. He finally found someone who will let him.


0:24 -- The rest of this scene is cute with the boys talking religion and then Ennis breaks out this crazy sexy line: "You may be a sinner, but I as of yet haven't had the opportunity."

If I were Jack, I would have taken my pants off then, but I'm me.

p.s. Ennis made the food they were eating. Domesticity Part 6.


0:26 -- What has happened is that the boys each got plastered (did they only order liquor to drink or what?) and Ennis decides to "curl up here and catch 40 winks" (love him) instead of returning to the tent with the sheep to guard them because it's late and cold and they're drunk and Joe Aguirre is a d-bag.

However... what was that?


0:27 -- It's the Moon of Desire. Look how close it is. It's throbbing.

Speaking of... Jack is inside the tent stewing in his own juices, giving Ennis every reason in the book for why he should sleep in the tent with him. Ennis finally agrees because he likes Jack in a way he cannot yet fully describe and why not, it's cold, he's drunk, and Joe Aguirre is a d-bag. In the tent he goes.


0:27 -- I'm going to handle this delicately. Inside the tent, Jack c*ck is as hard as a rock. Thus, he takes Ennis' hand and ever so gently slides it over yonder, where no Ennis hand has gone before. Clearly, he intends to pleasure himself using Ennis' hand, which... is something I never thought of. Good work, Jack Twist.

At this point in time, Jack is madly, deeply in love with Ennis and is also a 19-year-old with hormones, wants, and needs. Anyone who tries to argue that Jack is a sexual predator is crazy bones. Jack is just a virile young man who wants to get some from the man he loves. The most natural thing in the world.


0:27 -- Ennis on the other hand is understandably freaked the F out. However, it's not because he isn't attracted to/in love with Jack. It's because Jack has suddenly, very graphically, informed Ennis as to what all that stuff in his heart for Jack was: lust, love, caring, desire, companionship. Ennis is mostly surprised by how he feels more than anything IMHO.

Seeing as how Ennis has not punched him in the face, Jack goes a step further, doing his best "Showgirls" while Ennis grunts for an explanation. Ennis, who is also not stupid, does his make-up homework quick and realizes that the only thing he's wanted to do for a long while is experience pleasure with this man. So he flips Jack over, puts some spit on his hand, rubs it down under, and enters Jack. It just feels right, and there's no one around to tell him not to.

p.s. I'm not being demure by not screen-shooting the sex scene. It was just so dark and I would have had to lighten the pictures so much that it's not even worth it. You get what happened, right? Ennis' D. Jack's A. We're all on the same page.


0:28 -- You know who aren't on the same page? Ennis and Jack, that's who. While Jack is blissfully asleep dreaming of sugarplum fairies and winning all the rodeos in the entire galaxy, Ennis is looking at him like "What the F did I do last night?" Because having his entire conception of the world torn apart is not exactly what he planned for when he went to sleep.

The next morning, he wakes up and leaves in a huff. Jack, showing no signs of stress to his nether regions (it's not his first time at the rodeo knowwhatI'msayin') sees him off, but Ennis is not having any of it.

You've changed everything, Jack. EVERYTHING.


0:30 -- Ang Lee Is a God Part 118.



0:30 -- Ennis leaves to go check on the sheep. You know, that thing they were getting paid for and discovers one devoured in the grass.

Normally, I would say that discovering a half eaten sheep (what's the singular of sheep? shep?) after making love to your boyfriend would be a bad omen for your relationship and that you should maybe think about calling it off but romantic dramas have no room for sensibility...


0:31 -- So Ennis finds Jack and the two have the most bullsh*t conversation any two guys who are clearly in love with each other but don't want to say so because it's the American West and the 60s have ever had.

Ennis is all "You know I ain't queer" which is like "Ehhh, it's not like you knew..." and Jack is all "Me neither" which is like "Girl, please!" But they swear that it's a one-shot (hehe) deal and that no one needs to know besides the two of them. Other lines that I've also used to try to bed straight guys include "It doesn't have to be gay if you don't want it to be," "We could call it whatever you want," "This is about sensuality, not sexuality," and the old faithful, "We're just two dudes who got excited and made out."


0:31 -- Jack is clearly not pleased.

I picked this shot because I love Jake G's face in it. So pretty.

However...


0:32 -- Keeping their hands off each other will be easier said than done.



0:32 -- Everyone read this shot wrong. The second time crowd literally thought that Ang Lee was gonna have Ennis whip his D out from behind his cowboy hat and smack Jack in the face with it. Again, no. Yes, the hat in front of his crotch was a little metaphorical but again, it was not an invitation to oral sex. People, just because a man's hands are in this area, it doesn't mean he's gonna take it out. Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. Very well.

Okay, everyone shut it. I will now present the following love-making scene (the most beautiful scene in the movie) without commercial interruption.








0:34 -- I'm crying. Yes, I know. I didn't even make it to an hour. Let me pull my wits about me. So after this beautiful love-making session, the two are in full out frolic mode. Sheep? What sheep? We are young and in love and...


0:34 -- Oh sh!t.

Joe Aguirre, who is never not a constant source of joy and amusement, shows up to do some heavy glaring, suspicious horseback riding, and overall parade raining. He tells Jack that his uncle Harold is in the hospital with pneumonia, which he probably made up (it's not like Jack has a cell phone) just to scope things out. For some reason, methinks Joe has experienced having ranch hands get handsy with one another and that's why he doesn't kick them out immediately. Another part of me think he doesn't care that much and is more interested in the money for his sheep.

Regardless, he doesn't kick them out right away, which is good, I guess. Tell me, Joe. Why can't the guy with the hat herd the sheep anyway? Come now, what does he do all day?


0:35 -- So then a few bad things happen. First, a hailstorm. I love how during the hailstorm, Ennis takes off his hat to catch some of the hail to show off just how big the stones are, then he proceeds to put the hat back on his head. Stones and all. I love you, Ennis. Other stuff happens too.



0:36 -- Jack and Ennis get their sheep mixed up with sheep from another foreign herder, which always happens! It's like every single time! Wah wah. It is during this mix-up that Ennis and Jack have their first fight, and it's adorable the way first fights with cute couples usually are. Jack tries to unleash a b!tchfit and Ennis shuts him down early. Good work, Ennis!


0:37 -- Then Ennis wakes up to a snow storm blanketing the mountainside.

In between these scenes, Jack and Ennis have a cute moment with Jack's harmonica that I didn't get a screen shot of because I may have been eating.

Anyway, the snow doesn't stick but Best Person Ever Nominee Joe Aguirre tells Jack that it's time to bring the sheep in and take down the tent; the honeymoon is over. This leads to Jack and Ennis' first real epic fight when Jack condescendingly offers Ennis a loan because they both are getting cut out of a month's pay. I agree with Ennis. We're both doing the same job so don't act all superior, Jack. If you had money, you wouldn't be up on this mountain with me.


0:38 -- "I don't need your money."

I feel like this concept of Ennis and money resonates with his personality through the entire film. I feel like Ennis does a lot to punish himself including not accepting money or better jobs or offers to improve his life because he thinks he can only live a certain way. It'll come up again later too. So, Ennis storms off because he is upset at having to leave the mountain, and Jack finds him in the fields.

And then Ang Lee gives us this shot for Christmas.




0:38 -- The above shot, when Jack lassos Ennis, is my favorite image in the whole movie. It is so beautiful. It can and has made me cry. I just can't deal with the everything going on in that image.

Naturally, after something so beautiful happens, it's followed up with a fight. Jack and Ennis start rasslin' because Ennis is literally gonna crawl out of his skin at the idea of having to leave Jack and the mountain. To get Ennis off of him, Jack kinda sucker punches him with his elbow (?) and Ennis is sent spinning.


0:39 -- He wipes the nose blood on his shirt.


0:39 -- Jack jumps into protector mode.


0:40 -- And is rewarded with a punch in the face.

This fight is so multifaceted. The breakdown: Ennis is so overcome with grief, he can't breath, but Jack is literally pretending like nothing's happening; that they can stay the same way they always have. Plus, Ennis is using violence to steel himself up. He knows he's got to return to the world, and be a "man" again after being so open with Jack. Finally, Ennis spits at the end of the fight. The metamorphosis back to a non-communicative brute is complete.


0:40 -- They leave Brokeback Mountain.

p.s. I want this shirt so much.

Anyway, when they return the sheep to Joe Aguirre, the count is wrong of course duh. Excuse you, Joe, but they were busy falling in love to worry about your sheep! The two then have the most painful break-up conversation ever in which Jack's eyes look like they're going to fall out of his face with misery.


0:41 -- Jack keeps dropping unsubtle hints about how he'll be back next summer, but Ennis is so deeply broken that he can hardly speak. He is distraught to say the least.


0:42 -- Ang Lee Is a God Part Who's Counting?


0:43 -- I know I said I wasn't going to talk about awards and stuff, but I feel like Heath Ledger really should have won the Oscar for this, especially for this moment. I remember when I saw this in theaters for the third time, there was this girl near me who, when this scene which depicts Ennis breaking down into tears over having to leave Jack and letting out the saddest whimper you have ever heard, this girl near me literally burst into tears.

Like she was fine. Then she wasn't fine.

So much gay pain. You don't mind if I speed through some of the next part because I just can't deal with what's about to happen...


0:43 -- The first appearance of Alma, as played by Michelle Williams.

Her and Ennis get married, they go sledding, they see drive-in movies. I'm good. Don't get me wrong. I love Michelle Williams. I'm so glad they got her to play this part because if it was an actress I hated, I would have been throwing sh!t at the screen. It's like when you really like a guy and then you find out he has a girl/boyfriend and you happen to know that girl/boyfriend and you like them, which makes it even worse because you want to hate them for taking the man you like away but you can't because they're like nice and stuff.

That's the way I feel about Alma, who becomes a very sad person in her own right so it's not like she's someone to envy.


0:46 -- Foolishly, Jack goes back to Joe Aguirre looking for work and Ennis, his husband. Joe, to his credit, doesn't call Jack a faggot which is something I would have thought he would have in 1963ish land. He merely tells him to get out of his office while adding in the bon mot "You boys sure did find a way to make the time pass up there" all sinistery and devilish. If only the rest of your performance could have been as good, RQ.

p.s. I love the way Jake G's face looks in this scene so I've chosen to use that image instead of Quaid. You're welcome.


0:46 -- This is America!

So Ennis has moved Alma and his now two daughters into a house in the center of NOTHING. Because this is what he feels he deserves, remember?


0:48 -- Alma is not really pleased by this development and is doing a lot of man-boob grabbing and gentle brain-washing to convince Ennis to move to an apartment in Riverton, a town which has actual people.


0:50 -- Despite her best efforts, Ennis flips her over to sleep with her the way he prefers, from behind. Like he did with Jack. No light bulb moments, Alma? Not a thing you want to say? You don't have a single concern you might want to discuss with Ennis about the events that are transpiring in your life? Nothing? Girl? Okay.

p.s. I went to see this the second time with a friend of mine who cackled when Ennis flipped Alma over for "that booty" as he put it. Lovely.

Side Discussion: Is Ennis gay or bisexual or just in love with Jack? This is a good question. I could see how people would be confused. My take on it is that Ennis is gay. Later in the film, he asks Jack if sex with his wife feels "normal." I take this to mean that Ennis has never really felt that sex with a woman was quite right. I also think that he is the kind of person so closed off to his feelings and told repeatedly by his seemingly awful father that being gay is unacceptable. To someone so closed off--he describes his parent's death with barely a wiff--the conception of this kind of pleasure is unimaginable, unthinkable. Now that he's found it with Jack, he can only run away from it and try to live a "normal" life because it simply cannot be real. I am attracted to Ennis for all these reasons because I too self-sabotage. Don't even go there.



0:51 -- Meanwhile, across town, Jack has decided to keep rodeo-ing despite the fact that he knows good and goddamn well that he is not good at this, and manages to almost kill himself falling off a bull or horse or whatever bucks and generally causes faces to be smashed. A rodeo clown--the guy with the death wish who wears colorful clothes and face paint to distract the bull so the cowboy can get away when they've fallen--comes to Jack's rescue, saving him from imminent death.

Jack takes this to mean that he should go to the local bar and go hit on the rodeo clown because that sounds like a good idea. Hell, it wasn't a good idea in 1960s Texas and it's not a good idea now. Anyway, the rodeo clown gives Jack the patented Ennis "Who does this b!tch think she is?" face and Jack, h-ney as hell, still doesn't get it. This scene ends with the rodeo clown walking to his friends all "Who does this b!tch think she is?" about Jack, and Jack hightailing it out of there afraid for his life. Good work, Jack.

But before all that happens, we are treated to Jack making this face:


0:51 -- You're welcome.


0:53 -- I am skipping a little bit of exposition because it isn't really that important. Basically, back at the ranch, Ennis and Alma have taken their girls to see fireworks for the Fourth of July. Loud fireworks. Young children. A recipe for a good time. Anyway, while there, these two loud-mouth greasy f*cks show up talking about p*ssy and are being generally disgusting. Ennis, boiling with the rage of pent up EVERYTHING, tells the gentlemen to shut the F up. When the men stand as if ready to fight Ennis, he kicks one of them in the face so hard that I screamed and forgot to take a screen shot of it.

Alma is naturally terrified, but still she thinks her husband's complete and total mental breakdown and disinterest in their marriage is something she can fix with man-boob rubbing and child bearing. She is wrong.

Regardless of all of this, the reason I chose this shot is because ANG LEE IS A FREAKING GOD!


0:53 -- This has nothing to do with anything... Jack is rodeo-ing again. You can only do so much... But look at this man's outfit.

Why am I not wearing this right now?


0:54 -- The first appearance of Anne Hathaway as Lureen Newsome.

Jack is at the rodeo when Lureen comes racing through dropping her red cowboy hat at his feet. She trots up to Jack, thinks to herself "we both have gigantic eyes and teeth, we should be together" and proceeds to trot off knowing she's gonna get some of that later on.

Side Discussion: Is Anne Hathaway terrible in this movie? Yes and no. She's not great, but she doesn't really need to be great. Her part is small and she's passable. She doesn't add points to the film's goodness, but she doesn't detract either. She's like when figure skaters throw in extra curlicues, jumps, and hops into their routines. They aren't gonna get you more points for those, but they're pretty, they fill time during a long program, and the crowd loves 'em. Why not?


0:54 -- Back to the movie. Lureen, showing the worst judgment of anyone ever, goes to watch Jack rodeo... AND HE ACTUALLY WINS SOMETHING! Or does well, I don't know. He doesn't suck. At this point in time Lureen decides that she does suck... Jack... tonight.


0:55 -- This Is AMERICA!


0:55 -- Hathaway manages to fail at both accenting and being sexy in this scene, but it's OK. Like I said, she's passable. Anyway, Lureen saunters over to Jack (as much as Hathaway is capable of sauntering) and is all "What you waiting for, cowboy, a mating call?" Jack has just asked the bartender who she is and he tells Jack that she's the daughter of a big wig that sells giant farming equipment. Get it? Jack represents The New West while Ennis is The Old West.

I love this movie.



0:56 -- The two, all big eyes and big teeth, start dancing. Lureen (PLEASE GIRL NO!) is falling in love, while Jack is serving the best "Oh sh!t" face I've ever seen.


0:57 -- The two retire to Jack's car and surprisingly, Hathaway is sprightly and quite good in this scene where she has to bear her breasts. Lureen is all "You don't think I'm too fast do you, like maybe we should put the brakes on?" and Jack is all "Girl, please." And no I'm not screen shooting Hathaway's breasts, perv. You'll have to do it yourself.

Side Discussion: Is Jack bisexual? What is Jack? Like I said, Jack is a gay man. If Jack never had to sleep with a woman again, it would be fine with him. However, Jack is not completely stupid and he knows that being with a woman is something that men are expected to do. But it's not like he hates sleeping with Lureen. Jack is a big fan of pleasure. He loves feeling good all the time, and having a beautiful woman like Lureen, being able to bring her pleasure I'm sure brings Jack pleasure as well. He may not be all jazzed about her lady bits, but he's perfectly fine with being the object to someone he sees as very desirable for himself and his position in society.



0:59 -- I call this scene "Ennis & The Women's Movement"

Ennis has to go to ranch somewhere because heifers are calving and he's The Only Person who can go handle this. Seriously, Ennis, have you ever heard of a GED? Anyway, he brings his daughters to Alma's job at a supermarket to literally drop them off with Alma. I guess he thinks the girls can hang out with the butcher or maybe in the meat locker. Alma is all: does not compute, and in Heath Ledger's brilliance, he gives this wonderful face when Alma says "What about my job?"


0:59 -- Alma caves, says something about having her sister watch the girls (in the meat locker) and Alma, Jr. proceeds to knock down a display of something glass and messy. Monroe, who either owns or manages the grocery store (not sure) and who is played by the adorable Scott Michael Campbell, is all "Alma I've been in love with you since you first started here, it's totally OK that your daughter with that guy that doesn't know what a condiment is knocked down this display. Take the rest of the day off. With pay."


0:59 -- The little girl playing Alma Jr... Can we stop and talk about how INSANE it is that she named the girl Alma Jr... also does a good job in this scene. You go, little girl!


0:59 -- So Lureen and Jack have had a child. Wonderful.


0:59 -- Lureen's rich and obnoxious parents, including her father (played by Graham Beckel) and his attitude, show up.

Lureen's mother mentions something about boxes of formula. Um, OK? Even if she didn't want to breastfeed, don't you think she might've wanted to be involved in the selection of her child's formula. And her father, L.D. Newsome, is all "ain't he just the spittin' image of his grandpa" in reference to the baby. Um, OK? Gag. Then L.D. throws his car keys at Jack's face. Not near his face, but at his face. It was actually a pretty good shot that would have connected had Jack not wanted to um, protect his face. Luckily, Lureen is aware that her parents suck.


1:00 -- We're so in this love together.


1:01 -- Back at Ennis' house of misery, Alma tells Ennis that he got a postcard from a Jack. "Is he somebody you cowboyed with?" she asks in a kind of condescending manner. So much condescension from these people! Don't worry Alma. You will be clued in. Trust. Ennis' heart jumps into his throat and he literally turns to Alma like she can smell the gay sex all over the postcard. Wait. Imagine if you could smell gay sex. And imagine if it smelled like freesia! Anyway...


1:01 -- Ennis heads down to the post office to reply to Jack's note about meeting him later. Ennis fills out a postcard that says "F*ck yeah!" Actually it says "You bet" but we all know what Ennis really meant.


1:02 -- The day finally arrives when Jack is supposed to show up at Ennis' house (really, Ennis? You couldn't think to meet him anywhere away from... your wife?) and Ennis is a basket case, sitting by the window, chain smoking, listening to absolutely nothing that Alma is saying. And she's going on and on too about how the pair of them can take Jack out in Riverton. Ennis has mentally divorced himself from all of Alma's words and is focused on one thing.

But his boyfriend isn't here yet.


1:02 -- This is America.


1:03 -- Finally, Jack shows up and Ennis' face looks like all the children in all the world on Christmas morning.


1:03 -- "Jack F*cking Twist." His professional name.




1:03 -- Ennis leaps down the stairs, Jack has this giant sh!t-eating grin on his face. The men embrace and it's totally fine, if a little bromantic, but fine... wait... what... are... you... stop... no...




1:03 -- STAWP IT! You are both married and... Look at Jack's face in this scene. He is hungry. He could eat a whole man. Ennis in particular.

Where was I... STAWP!

Oh F it.



1:03 -- So the two of them are violently making out because the attraction is literally bursting from their veins. However, they are doing this in the outside staircase area in the outside in full outsidedness, in the 60s, in Riverton, Wyoming, which may be a very progressive place now but I mean come on.


1:03 -- It is at this point in time that Alma decides to step outside for who knows why. Look at her face. She's probably thinking about something all innocent like "I like apricots and peaches and dates and lemons, and limes and apples..."


1:03 -- Then she catches sight of her husband making out with his boyfriend and is all "...and apples and the smell of human flesh after the nuclear winter..."

p.s. Michelle Williams should have won 18 Oscars for this whole sequence.


1:04 -- Alma comes inside feeling all like she's gonna puke, vom, hurl, and upchuck at the same time because that thing she was feeling in her marriage now has a name and for all intents and purposes, that thing has just licked her husband's lips off. I've never had this happen to me, but I'm more than positive that it must suck.



1:04 -- Outside in lover's paradise, Ennis is battling two demons: he has to peel Jack off of him and resist the urge to pull Jack's pants down. This is not easy.


1:04 -- Ennis finally frees himself enough to bring Jack up to see Alma, who is... we'll say "distrustful" about Ennis' boyfriend, er, friend.

Jack asks a few questions about Ennis' life and then is so uncomfortable at being around this woman who dare call herself the wife of his husband, that he starts to completely cover his face by holding his head low and giving her all kinds of cowboy hat. Ennis is giddily trying to keep it together, telling Jack all about his girls while being very energetic, which is uncharacteristic of him. OMG Ennis, you're so obvsies.

Jack just wants to get away from this woman, and I feel him. I so remember liking a guy and hating being around whomever he was dating feeling all "I don't want to be around dis b!tch..." Finally, the pair decide to leave. Alma tries to get Ennis to promise to return to buy her cigarettes or something and Ennis is all "not gonna happen." Jack gives Alma one final stare all like "This *pointing to him and Ennis* is real. You are not" and leaves...


1:05 -- ...To go to a motel. I have a few questions about this plot point. First of all, who paid for the hotel? Jack, right? Then, what did he do? Go inside first and wait until there was no one around and give Ennis the all clear with like a lighter flashing from the back window. When they got inside and f*cked like we all know they did, didn't they make some noise? It didn't sound like two dudes moving heavy furniture for an hour? No one questioned anything?

Maybe Riverton is more progressive than I thought.


1:06 -- The next couple of scenes are all pretty heartbreaking so I'm gonna kind of go lightning speed because I will break down and cry if I think about them too much. In the motel, post-coitus, the boys lay in each others' arms and Jack is talking because he talks constantly. He's blathering on about not realizing they were going to sleep together again, which is just bravado to make Ennis feel more comfortable with what's going on. Then, Jack stops and breathes into Ennis' ear: "Brokeback got us good, don't it" which is No. 1 of the like 7 moments in the movie that can make me burst into tears. Ennis doesn't really say much because he has no idea what to do now.


1:07 -- Back at the homestead, Alma is... "confused," we'll go with that. And depressed. Confused and depressed. Ang Lee is amazing, and the moment this shot came on screen, all three times I saw it in theaters, people audibly sighed for poor Alma. Poor Alma.


1:08 -- Surprisingly, Ennis comes blowing through talking about how he's gonna take off of work and go fishing/hunting/gay sexing with Jack for awhile. Even when his daughter runs to him, Ennis picks her up and hands her off to Alma like a grocery bag. Ennis, I get that you love Jack but CAMMMAN!

Have a heart, man!


1:09 -- Ennis leaves so Alma can have more time to practice her solo in the Riverton Town Theatre production of "Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown."


1:09 -- And Jack and he drive to Brokeback to resume naked frolicking and general gay 'I luuuve you so much' merriment. I get that they are around 23 years old at this point, but even they should have some idea as to how their behavior is making other people feel. As much as I love Jack and Ennis and want them to be together forever, I also hate those couples that get together and suddenly, your calls don't get returned anymore, you never see them, and they start referring to themselves using the royal we, which you shouldn't confuse with the Royal Wee, which is a bathroom in Buckingham Palace.

Wow. Don't even ask. Moving on.


1:10 -- The Moon of Desire returns.

In the next scene, we learn a little more about Ennis' life and a lot more about why he is so adverse to living with Jack.


1:11 -- Jack asks Ennis point-blank if he'll live with him, which is not unreasonable from both a relationship stance and also a logistical stance. Each man could have easily given their kids up although that wouldn't be ideal and yeah, it's the late 60s, but if they got a ranch far enough away from people, I'm sure it could have worked. There had to have been some gay person ranching back then who lived without getting killed by hordes of homophobes.

I hope there was at least.

Or, as was often brought up when I discussed this movie with friends, they could have moved to San Francisco or New York. But thems is country people so that wasn't an option.



1:13 -- Ennis starts shaking his head in disapproval the moment Jack starts talking. Here's the gist. That's not gonna happen. Two men living together? No. Unfortunately, Jack wasn't all like "We could be like The Judds who live on the same property but in different houses" as a way of convincing him, but how was Jack to know that without watching Oprah like I did. Anyway, then Ennis recalls this terrible story about how in the mid-50s, his father took a then 9-year-old-ish Ennis down to see where he and his buddies probably ripped the d!ck off and then killed an old gay man who lived with his husband on a ranch.

The first time I saw the movie, people literally gasped when they showed the dead body. It explains a lot as to why Ennis feels the way he does. The other thing I think this story tells us is that Ennis has long felt an unease with his own protection, which makes me believe that his father and possibly others have noticed that he could be gay and have tried to stamp it out of him with words and by force. Before Jack, he didn't have a clear understanding of why he felt this way. But I believe now, Ennis believes that to stay alive, it means he has to squirrel the gay away.


1:13 -- Ennis is a terribly damaged man (it's why I love him). He advises Jack that if they can't fix the situation, they've got to stand it. And we all know burying your feelings never leads to negative consequences! EVER!


1:16 -- Now, I love this movie, but I love it enough to admit that it has some flaws not all of which are named Anne Hathaway. This section is a lot of exposition that's importantish to know, but not really like NECESSARY so let's bullet point it.

Alma and Ennis have a fight in front of their kids over her having to work instead of making dinner and taking care of those kids like Ennis wants. Alma has obviously been listening to "I'm Every Woman" on her Walkman again.. . Sorry, it's the 60s. I forgot. Listen, gay husband, she says, Alma's not having it anymore. And with that, Alma tears down the pavement.

The best thing about this scene is Heath Ledger's face when the girls stop swinging because the screams of their parents have killed their childhoods. You're welcome.


1:16 -- Lureen's hair is getting bigger.


1:17 -- Jack is still sending Ennis little love notes for him to keep in his Trapper Keeper and Alma is still walking around thinking that if she pretends nothing's happening, nothing with actually happen. Good luck with that, Alma!



1:17 -- Lureen, who has discovered turquoise and Champagne Blonde hair coloring, and Jack have an argument because she's pretending like her son doesn't have a learning disability and he's the only one who seems to care. In the short story, this problem with their son is more pronounced and discussed pretty in depth. While the movie glosses over it, I'm at least glad that they included a mention here.

What else happens in this montage? Let's see.

Jack and Ennis go up to Brokeback another time, they both do some more separate but equal ranching, and Alma gets fed the F up. One night while sitting at home and doing nothing, she suggests that they "smarten up" and head down to the church social. Ennis is not feeling the fire and brimstone crowd (remember how before he F-ed Jack, Ennis hadn't yet "sinned"? Things have changed.) Alma thinks it would be nice. Ennis thinks that having some sex while imagining that Alma is Jack seems just as nice.


1:24 -- Before I talk about the story, it is important to note that Ennis' transformation into John Denver is almost complete.

I digress. While he is inside her, Alma is all "I just read an advanced copy of 'Our Bodies Ourselves' because it is not quite 1971 and I shouldn't really have access to that book yet, and it said that we can have sex without me getting preggers over and over again." Ennis is all "I'll leave you alone if you don't want my babies and also because you're a woman and not Jack ew." And Alma is all "I'd have your babies if you'd support 'em" And each time I saw this in theaters, ladies in the audience began hollering. Apparently, this conflict still poses a problem for them. You always gotta make sure the men in your life are sponge-worthy, ladies!

Naturally, this fight leads to Alma and Ennis getting a divorce. Which like a domino falling down, leads to...


1:29 -- "Kiiiiiing of the rooooood!"


1:29 -- There's something about Jack's persistence that I find endearing. I know it's the love that draws him to Ennis like a magnet but what if Jack was more like Ennis. You'd have two Ennises moping around not really fighting for each other. Jack always fights. And he always wears something gold and shiny and wants to make out in public, outdoors. Jack is nothing if not predictable.

Ennis proceeds to tell Jack that they cannot have wild animal gay sex and bask in their love for each other that month because he has his daughters for the weekend and because he's becoming increasingly paranoid of the world around him. Not in so many words.

Jack, being Jack, overreacts...


1:30 -- Jack, pick your face up girl...

Side Discussion:I wanted to talk a little bit more about Ennis and his paranoia. I honestly believe in this scene, Ennis is trying to blow off Jack a little. I think Ennis blames Jack for a lot of things, including but not limited to: him not feeling comfortable around people because he has a secret, the failure of his marriage, his disconnection with his kids, and lastly, which is why he stared that passing car down, his fear that someone will attack him like he saw the old man attacked because of what he's done (I still don't think Ennis is there in terms of thinking of himself a a gay man. Maybe never.) Because of all this, and because he has a Herculean ability to suppress his feelings, Ennis starts to keep Jack at arm's length, not because he doesn't love him, but because it's easier. Thoughts?


1:31 -- Jack proceeds to burst into tears and drive from Wyoming to Mexico in search of some D. I've done a lot of things for D in my life. Drive across state lines, not one of them.


1:31 -- This is... Mexico!

p.s. every time I see this set, I just want Anita to jump out and sing "America" from "West Side Story." Yes, I know this is Mexico and they were Puerto Rican, but still. Listen, I'm almost Latino kinda not really so I can say these things.


1:32 -- Wordlessly, Jack strolls down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams and selects the tallest, most strapping night worker he can find and the two go off into the darkness so that Jack can get it in and pretend that Ennis is the one doing the... you know. Personally, I would have chosen the guy behind the guy Jack chose, because that guy's shirt is crazytown!

Is it the 70s yet? I have a feeling we've crossed into the 70s.


1:32 -- HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Okay, this scene is amazing for multiple reasons so I shall try to explain the awesomeness without spending like 100 pictures on it. It's Thanksgiving at the Twist/Newsome residence. Young Bobby, clearly off... you know, off, is staring at football. Jack tells Young Bobby that he cannot watch TV until he's finished eating all the food his mama, Lureen, who is wearing a helmet of yellow cotton candy, has made.


1:33 -- Oh, did I not mention that Lureen's parents are there? It may be because they are awful people.

After Jack turns off the TV, L.D. turns it back on again because "we don't eat with our eyes." He then throws in some sh!t about wanting your boy to grow up and be a man and men watch football and he'll end up like a gay sissy like his daddy and blah blah windbag noises...

Anne Hathaway is particularly good in this scene, especially her "Daddy. Daddy?" line reading. See, I told you she wasn't all bad!


1:34 -- So Jack gets up again to turn the TV off, simultaneously making Lureen feel better than she has in years, and when L.D. gets up to turn it on again, the dinner stops being polite and starts getting real.

I do have to tell you, for all the gay sex in this movie, this scene was the one that had people getting loudest in the theater.


1:34 -- Another great Hathaway moment.

Side Discussion: What is the purpose of this scene? Why is it here? I believe that this is the moment when Jack decides that he's standing up for what he wants, how he wants to be treated, and he's not taking this anymore. I think he's made an assessment of the world around him in this moment and decided, no I'm not letting you talk to me like that. No I'm not just gonna agree with what you say. No. No. No. He's always been talkative, but it was always nonsense words. Now I think Jack has decided that he's gonna say what he wants, live the life that he wants, and other people like L.D. be damned.

You'll notice after this scene, Jack never just accepts what Ennis has to say. There will be fights!


1:34 -- Let's check in on the Ennis/Alma/Monroe/Alma Jr./Jenny/Misery Household for a minute.

Dry turkey. Yum.


1:37 -- So how'd we get from dry turkey to this? Basically, Ennis is at dinner with his daughters being charming and funny and everything you'd want an ex-husband with barely a job and greasy hair and a secret gay life to be. Instead of being happy with this and the fact that she's remarried to Monroe and has a baby on the way, Alma decides to start some sh!t while they're cleaning the dishes. She recounts a story about how she tied a note to the end of Ennis' brand new fishing line asking him to bring back fish. He comes back. The note's still there. He never even went fishing.

I was always perplexed by Alma's need to go there. It's like, yes, you knew Jack and Ennis were f*cking and you said and did nothing, so now that you've moved on, you still need confirmation about what Ennis was doing? You still need to chide him and voice your disapproval? "Jack Twist. Jack Nasty. You didn't go up there to fish."

Clearly, someone's not over someone else (hint: Alma not over Ennis).


1:37 -- Ennis, who maintains a very ordered and rigid inner life, naturally gets angry that Alma went there and he proceeds to threaten her. "I'll make you eat the f*cking floor!" Alma screams for Monroe who does nothing and Ennis storms out not even saying goodbye to his daughters.


1:38 -- Ennis then picks a fight with a truck driver on the street, and while I always used to think that Ennis getting into fights was his way of connecting with men on a physical level since he was never as gayly free as Jack, this fight to me now seems more like Ennis punishing himself for all the hurt he's caused Alma. Ennis, she may be hurt, but she could have said or did something and she didn't, so don't lay that all on you.

This is all so deep. Can we go back to Brokeback Mountain?



1:40 -- Oh thank god.

Okay, I love this scene because it achieves so much with so little. First, Jack clues us into the disintegration of his marriage, which is good because I think we only see Lureen twice more. Then, Ennis picks Jack's brain about whether sex with Lureen is "normal and all, she never suspects?" Ennis is growing even more paranoid. I adore Ledger's mini-speech about feeling like everyone knows his secret, and then going out onto the "pavement" and everyone there knowing too. Jack's solution is for Ennis to move to Texas so the two can frolic.

Ennis, who is washing dishes in this scene (because he's SO domestic with Jack), turns his sarcasm on (he only uses it with Jack you'll notice) and is all "maybe it'll rain money from L.D. Newsome and whiskey will flow in the streams!" which is both brilliant and a little mean, Ennis.


1:41 -- Look at this shot and tell me that Ang Lee is not the most amazing director ever. I'm making this my laptop background.

Okay, we are approaching what may be my favorite entrance of a character ever in a movie ever. I am literally cheesing with anticipation.

In five, four, three, two...


1:41 -- "I'm Cassie... Cassie Cartwright!"

Dear Lord in heaven, thank you for the gift that is Cassie Cartwright. Thank you. She has giant hair, terrible clothes, even worse taste in men, and feels the need to boogie. She is also portrayed by Linda Cardellini, an actress of monster adorableness. The Ellen Page before Ellen Page was Ellen Page.

So Cassie decides that Ennis is the man for her (PLEASE NO!!!) and that she and he must dance!


1:42 -- And we are treated to a moment I like to call "Cassie Cartwright's Country Clompfest"...


1:42 -- After Cassie is done dancing with herself, she props her feet on Ennis' lap and demands a foot rub. I told you this girl was my personal hero. Ennis complies (how can you not?! Such gumption!) and Cassie talks a blue streak about how it's hard being a waitress and what does Ennis do and how she picked him out and how she needs to stop off at the beauty supply on her way home and get more jumbo rollers to set her mammoth hair for the night (this is not true).

Oh Cassie, you are horrible at choosing men. Oh well.


1:43 -- This is AMERICA!

Actually, this is TEXAS in 1978. I know.


1:43 -- Previously on "Dallas," Lureen and Jack are at some event--yes, I see it and no we are not talking about Lureen's hair--and they are clearly having a ball. However, something is curious about the menu of this event. It looks like they're serving fried chicken and corn-on-the-cob and shrimp cocktail and...



1:43 -- SEX EYES!

p.s. I just had to pause and say that I once interviewed the actor playing Randall in this scene, David Harbour, and he is charming and kind and sweet and all kinds of wonderful. Love. Back to the movie...


1:44 -- Anna Faris is there too and if you think Jack (or I) talk a lot, please. Wow. She is going a mile a minute. She tells us that Jack and Lureen met Randall and her because Randall & Co. broke down on the side of the road on the way to the event and Jack and Lureen gave them a lift. Apparently, Randall is gonna be working with some people that Jack knows, and Lureen and Anna Faris (whose character name is something like LaShawn?) are in separate sororities. What they don't know is that they are in the same sorority of having gay husbands.


1:46 -- So Jack does LaShawn (I don't feel like looking this up so we're going with it) a solid and dances with her. Actually he does everyone at the table a solid. Dancing with LaShawn got her off of Randall for a minute, it gave Lureen a chance to breathe/fluff the Farrah Fawcett sitting on her head, and keep Jack from the indignity of having to pretend to care about Lureen. The whole time Anna Faris/LaShawn is basically like "Yap yap yap" times infinity.

Outside, after the event/party is through, Randall and Jack sit outside and bullsh!t for a minute. Then, Randall starts talking about how he can get access to a cabin for the two of them--Randall and Jack--to spend some time together just the two of them... alone. "Listen," Randall says to Jack, "Come to this cabin with me and I will F the S out of you."


1:46 -- I made that "Dallas" reference above, which immediately made me think of 70s-80s soap operas and now I can't stop thinking about "Dynasty." Anyway, Jack is outside torn because Randall clearly wants to get it in now but Jack is betrothed to Ennis. He's torn between two lovers like Fallon was (I actually can't remember a time when Fallon was torn between two lovers but I'm sure it had to have happened at least once.)

Whatever will he... Please, we both know Jack is gonna bend over backwards and I don't mean that figuratively for Randall. He's Jack. It's in his DNA.


1:48 -- Across town, Ennis has his older daughter, Alma Jr., meet Cassie Cartwright. AJ has grown up to become the beautiful Kate Mara, who went to the same college with a girl I know small world. This is despite the fact that Kate Mara looks nothing like the girl they got to play middle Alma Jr. Quibbles.

At the bar, Cassie asks a despondent AJ if her dad will ever marry again. AJ is all "Is your name Jack Twist?" Cassie is like point counterpoint, and proceeds to use her hair and bad fashion sense to lure Ennis into her matrimony trap. Ennis then drives AJ back to her house and AJ sweetly asks to live with Ennis. Ennis, taking one of the 953 locks he has around his heart off, tells her he isn't set up for it but that he does care about her. Despite growing up in what was probably a house of silent pain and constant fighting, AJ seems to be a poised, self-assured young woman. Thank God.


1:51 -- Back at Brokeback, Ennis and Jack are talking about the women they are currently sleeping with. Jack tells this story about sleeping with a ranch owner's wife, however, we all know that Jack is really talking about sleeping with Randall, his new boyfriend. (How I wish we could have had one scene of Randall and Jack making out!) Even Ennis is looking at him a little sideways but he doesn't say anything. Debbie Downer Jack then adds "Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it." Burst into tears moment #4 for me.

Jake G is also brilliant in this scene.


1:51 -- Just like old times!

p.s. the aging hair and make-up they used on Jake G. looks amazing. He very realistically looks like a man in his late 30s who has not colored his hair ever.

Okay, I've got to breathe in and out, do some squat thrusts, and drink a Gatorade. We are going into Jake G's final scenes as well as the MOST EPIC B!TCHFIT EVER PUT ON CELLULOID! Ready? Let's begin.


1:52 -- At the end of their trip, Ennis, looking like a battered wife, hesitantly tells Jack that they won't be able to come up to Brokeback until November even though they had planned to go up in August.



1:54 -- Jack begins the b!tchfit. Ennis runs through the gamut of excuses he's been practicing for the whole week on Jack. "You forget what it's like being broke all the time." "It was hard enough getting this time." "The trade-off was August." "I used to just quit them other jobs, but I can't quit this one." Heath Ledger then does my favorite thing of his in the movie, which is after he says he doesn't know what to do, he does a full-body shrug. It's a rewind moment.

Also, somewhere in this scene, Jake G has to deliver the line "What we got here is a goddamned b!tch of an unsatisfactory situation" which is the most difficult line in the movie to deliver without sounding ridiculous (it's worst than "Jack Twist. Jack Nasty.") and Jake G. does OK. It's hard to say that without sounding clunky/like you're having a stroke. Again, Jake G. does what he can.


1:55 -- Jack complains that he doesn't want to meet in November. It's cold. Why can't they meet sometime or someplace warm? Why can't they go to Mexico?


1:55 -- Then Ennis does something really sh!tty. First of all, he perpetuates this notion that Jack is gay and that he's only been seduced by Jack with the line "I hear what they have for boys like you in Mexico," which is just another one of the mean things Ennis has said over the course of the movie. It's amazing how you still love him despite his being a huge prick to so many people.

Then, he gets in Jack's face and is all "Those things I don't know. All those things I don't know could get you killed should I come to know them." If you don't speak Ennis, I'll translate. "You can f*ck as many ladies as you like, but if I find out that you're f*cking any other guys, I will f*cking kill you." This is a Colossally Mean thing for Ennis to do.

Basically, Ennis is like, I'm never gonna see you because I blame you for everything that's gone wrong in my life despite the fact that I am also in love with you. Plus, you can't get affection or sexual gratification from any other man because you are mine despite the fact that I kinda wish that I was normal and that you weren't mine but always be mine because I can't live without you.

I love you.


1:56 -- Understandably, this annoys Jack.

I can't blame him. The constraints Ennis has put on their relationship are INSANE. Jack turns the b!tchfit up to 100 and yells at him, and Jack's right. How does Ennis expect Jack to stop wanting something, a connection, love from the man that he loves when Ennis never gives it to him? He's got to get it somewhere. Then Jake G. has to deliver two iconic lines, both of which are also really difficult to deliver. I also want to pause and say that Jake G. had a LOT of heavy lifting to do in this scene so golf clap to him.

The first line is "All we got is Brokeback Mountain!" which he doesn't really sell and it comes off sounding fake, and the second is of course, "You are too much for me, Ennis. I wish I knew how to quit you." Jake G. sticks the landing on this one.


1:57 -- Then Ennis turns around, a tear falls from his eye, and Heath Ledger completely rips my heart to shreds.

I'm crying right now as I write this. Ennis, whom we've never seen crying up close before, is a quivering mess. "Well, why don't you," Ennis cries to Jack. "It's because of you that I'm like this. I'm nowhere. I'm nothing."


1:57 -- Ennis crumbles into Jack's arms, and I have to get a truck-full of tissue boxes, excuse me.



1:58 -- Then... Yes, I'm still crying. We are just gonna write through the tears... Then, Jack has a flashback to a time 20 years ago when he and Ennis were young and in love and everything was beautiful. I normally hate flashbacks but I love this one because it gets a couple of things right. First, I love how it's this random moment that you wouldn't normally remember. You always think you're gonna remember a kiss with someone or the last time you made love or a big moment, but you always remember the small moments.

Second, I love that Ennis is just holding Jack and that's what Jack recalls. I get the love Jack has. It's that total 'I just want to be curled in your arms forever' kind of love that is such a double-edged sword because it feels so good when you're in it, and it feels like someone has turned off the sun when you're not.


1:58 -- The final shot of Jake G. in this movie. Thank you for all your hard work Jake G. You were fantastic. I'm gonna miss looking into your eyes. Best of luck to you in the future. I would be happy to write a letter of recommendation.


1:59 -- Moving on. So Ennis has taken to doing things like eating pies in Greyhound bus stations. Obviously, things are not good. Anyway, there he runs into Cassie Cartwright. You can tell that Ennis has devastated her because her hair is so limp. Sorry, that was a bad sexist joke. Linda C. does a fantastic job in her few scenes and more than adequately conveys the pain CC must have felt at being summarily dumped by this uncommunicative man.

Cassie has taken up with some loser and Ennis is all I probably wasn't that much fun anyway go ahead and date the loser. He is quickly schooled by Cassie that girls don't fall in love with fun. Ennis feels more like an a$$hole. I suspect more nights of bus station pie eating.


2:01 -- Yep, Jack's dead.


2:03 -- Ennis then calls Lureen and the two have a terrible conversation. Ennis hears Lureen's story about Jack getting hit in the face by a tire rim and instantly doesn't believe it. I wish we could find out more, but Lureen doesn't want to know. Like was Jack maybe being attacked because of him and Randall? I wonder. Conversely, Lureen discovers that the place her husband referred to so positively was where he and this man on her phone would go for weeks at a time. Does Lureen know that she's speaking to her dead husband's husband? Hell yes. Add it to the list, she thinks. She tells Ennis to see Jack's parents in a place called Lightning Flats (?) about his ashes being scattered on Brokeback.

Then she hangs up because it's not like they can be friends or something.

Brief Side Discussion: Who is the saddest woman of "Brokeback Mountain"? I'm going with Lureen. Yes, Alma had to deal with Jack & Ennis for so long, but she got remarried and she has her wonderful daughters. She really has no need to complain. Similarly, Cassie Cartwright got her heart broken but she didn't know Ennis for that long. She'll get over it. Lureen, wow. Lureen thought she was gonna have a perfect life. Instead, she married a gay man, had her family instantly disapprove of him, gave birth to a learning disabled child, spend her youth working thanklessly at her father's company, had her husband drink and leave her constantly, then he up and probably gets himself killed, leaving her alone with the child she has barely a connection with and EPIC SADNESS. No amount of hair coloring and turquoise will ever heal her pain.


2:05 -- Ennis goes to visit Jack's parents on Lureen's suggestion. Let me describe where Jack's parent's live. They live in the back on the egde in the corner of ABSOLUTELY NO F*CKING WHERE! Try to find that S on Google Maps. You will not.

Jack's mom is kindly, but his dad is scary and spitty and in no mood. His dad tells Ennis how Jack had told him that he planned on coming up to the ranch with Ennis to fix it up because Jack couldn't keep something to himself if he tried. Then, the dad drops the bomb that Jack was gonna come up with another man (most likely Randall) to fix the place up. After-death betrayal! It stings but Ennis lets it go. What is he gonna do, threaten Jack again. The man's dead.


2:08 -- Jack's mom is all "You can go up to Jack's old room if you like. I kept it the way it was when he was a child. I think he appreciated that" to Ennis. Then, Ennis goes into the room... AND THERE'S NOTHING IN IT! It's easy to keep a room the same when there was nothing in the room to begin with. What a lonely childhood in the back on the edge in the corner of nothing. No wonder Jack was a whirling dervish the moment he left.


2:10 -- Ennis looks around a little, including in the closet, and spots his and Jack's old shirts from when they were 19 on Brokeback and got into a fight after having to leave and got blood on the collars. Then in a flood of emotion Ennis grasps the shirts, gasping for one last scent of the love of his life, and Heath Ledger rips my heart out of my chest, stomps on it, and throws it back inside!


2:11 -- Downstairs, Jack's mom sees that Ennis would like to keep the shirts and she's all "Gotta find a bag so that my dead son's husband can take a symbol of their love home with him." You have to love a supportive mom! Then she asks Ennis if he'll come and visit them again. The father grunts.

Listen, lady, Ennis is gonna visit you all the time. He's gonna have to just to make sure you two both don't die out here because you live in the middle of NOTHING and no one will ever notice you're gone. He thanks them and leaves.


2:12 -- Now I'm assuming it's the 80s and Ennis is living in a trailer alone. Alma Jr., still Kate Mara, shows up in a completely unnecessary car...


2:13 -- ...Wearing a completely unnecessary shirt. p.s. the fact that she rocked this shirt is a testament to her acting abilities.

So AJ shows up and tells Ennis that she is getting married at the Methodist Church, that Monroe is doing the food, and that she'd like it if he was there. At first, Ennis blows her off, he mentions something about the Tetons. AJ is all "no, you're coming to my wedding and walking my Tetons down the aisle, old man." Then, Ennis realizes something. He realizes that he will lose everyone he loves in his life, just like he lost Jack, if he continually pushes people away because he's afraid of being who he is.


2:15 -- He will go to AJ's wedding. He will stop working all the time. Maybe he will even trim his sideburns. No. Sorry. That was too much too soon.


2:16 -- AJ leaves, but forgets to take her sweater with her. It's OK. Ennis is nothing if not domestic so he folds it up and opens his closet to reveal that he has hung his and Jack's shirts, except that his shirt is on the outside forever... protecting... Jack...

Okay, I am bawling.


2:16 -- So is Ennis. Dear me, where is that other truck of tissue boxes?!

Then, Ennis closes his closet not before uttering the final line "Jack, I swear."

Side Discussion: What does "Jack, I swear" mean? It means everything. Ennis is saying Jack I swear I love you. I swear you changed my life. I swear I will be with you again. I swear I miss you every single day. I swear I need you... Hold on, I'm crying again... I swear my life will never be as good now that you're gone. It literally means everything. It's why it's the last line of the movie. Ennis can say nothing more. We're done.


2:17 -- And I'm done. This is the last image of the movie. The juxtaposition of the closet door closed on Ennis' life with Jack and the window open to the landscape for Ennis' future. ANG LEE ISN'T A GOD. HE IS GOD.

And I am officially spent. Thank you for joining me on this live-blog that was about four times longer than I intended! I hope you had fun reliving the movie with me.


2:18 -- Final Discussion: Did you like the movie? What moments did you like the most? Who was your favorite character? Did you ever see it in theaters when it came out? Can you believe it's been 5 years? How much do you miss Heath Ledger? How many tissues did you go through watching again?