Juice with Junior

OMG. This is happening, y'all... Okay, hey everyone!

Guess what is coming back next Monday! IT'S "RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE!!!! *Screams, falls to the floor, dies, is sent to heaven, gets into a fight with like everyone, is sent back, revives self, screams again* I know. Let's break it down... Season 3 begins on Logo next Monday, January 24 at 10 AM and I will be recapping every single episode. Wait, I'll say it again... EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!!! I will not miss a tuck. I will not miss a split. I will not miss a diva tantrum or any illicit ki ki action. I will be there come hell or high water-filled platform pumps. Now I know I've been away for a few days in the past week and for that I do apologize. I was trying to balance the whole having a life with having a blog, and I was failing obvsies. But I thought I could do something to make it up to you. How about we meet the ladies of Season 3 of "RuPaul's Drag Race" and give our first impressions before the premiere?! I'll go first and you can leave your thoughts in the comments like you always do so expertly! Also, at the very end of this post is a cute video where you can meet the girls and get a bit of a feel for their personality before the show officially starts. Can't wait! Okay, let's begin and never end this b!tch!



Yara Sofia (above)
26, Manati, PR

The video below paints her as the enigmatic ice queen. I think she looks like a glammed up version of Andrea Bendewald. Can we talk about Andrea Bendewald for a moment although I know you had no clue when you started reading this post that I would not only mention Andrea Bendewald, but that I would mention her three times! See Andrea Bendewald is literally living the life I want right now. She's friends with Jennifer Aniston (thanks Wikipedia) which means that by extension, she's friends with Chelsea Handler and she's married to Mitch Rouse who is really hot.

Alright, that's all I wanted to say about that.



Stacy Layne Matthews (above)
25, Back Swamp, NC

I love her name. She's from some place called Back Swamp, which is amazing. Imagine having to write that on an envelope and have it be your actual, serious address. Amazing. She also looks like every single girl I grew up with which means I really want to go to Burger King with her and have her eat every onion ring off my tray while talking about Puerto Rican boys we want to bang.



Raja (above)
36, Los Angeles, CA

In the video, Raja's voice was distractingly deep, smooth, and seductive. Plus, in this picture, she looks like the dearly departed Teena Marie. Girl, you can go to the bathroom whenever you want because I'm giving you all kinds of passes despite the fact that you remind me of Raven hard!



Phoenix (above)
29, Atlanta, GA

I'm kinda having no opinion, which is bad. I don't really get the name in connection with the physical. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Wait. Beer. That's what I think of when I see her. Beer and dirt racing. I dunno.



Mimi Imfurst (above)
27, New York, NY

Did Mimi already win the show and it hasn't even aired yet?! I seriously feel like I've seen this girl performing for 20 years! I'm so buying her greatest hits. I love the way she kept touching the adorable John Polly in the video and did not apologize for it. Did I mention that I am in love with Mimi Imfurst, who really should consider changing the spelling of her first name to MiMi because it's funnier? Just a thought.



Venus D-Lite (above)
26, Los Angeles, CA

This is Lady GaGa. No amount of discussion in the world will convince me that this isn't Lady GaGa.



Mariah (above)
29, Atlanta, GA

Now I'm not trying to be a hater on any other girl but out of all the girls, I felt Mariah came correct with her makeup and styling moreso than any other girl. She looks fantastic and I believe she will either win the whole thing or come extremely close like top 2 or something but then Ru won't pick her because she's too beautiful. Because we all know Ru only picks beautiful girls when they are very young and she can mold them or not at all. Allegedly.



Manila Luzon (above)
25, New York, NY

She's one of my other early favorites. I just love the package presentation. If I ever release an 80s throwback album I'd want her on the cover laying on a black glossy Formica counter top with a cherry in her teeth. Although I do worry her youth and some cracks in the foundation will make Ru & Co. slap the dreaded "She's still learning" label on her that she'll never be able to shake. I hope not. She's not just a boy in a dress...

If you don't know, you betta ask somebody!



India Ferrah (above)
23, Dayton, OH

Seemed like a sweet girl, but honestly, I got nothing else.



Delta Work (above)
34, Nowalk, CA

I wanted to like her more but felt that her look and personality weren't really getting through in the picture or video. Maybe with some time she can open her heart to me baby I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to meeeee darling! I'll give you love if you, you've got the key (or something, to be honest I forgot the lyrics. I listened to a lot of Madonna recently so now every song is like stuck in my head...).



Carmen Carrera (above)
25, Elmwood Park, NJ

Is very pretty but she seems like one of those pretty girls who is pretty when they stand still and don't talk but then become less pretty when they talk and God forbid they try to dance. But then again maybe she can dance and maybe I'm just another jealous b!tch because I don't have a butch Latin boyfriend or Mystic tanned tree-trunk legs. She's the kind of girl that makes me buy boxes of Famous Amos cookies and eat them all in one sitting.

Okay, do we hate her? Is it offisch?



Alexis Mateo (above)
30, St. Petersburgh, FL

All I want to do is go to Miami with Alexis and get into the hottest club and sit at a banquette while all her friends come over to talk to us and listen to her tell them all about what happened to her that day. I have other dreams for my life but this is slowly becoming the most important one...


Okay everyone, those are the girls! I expect you to have their names down because when the recaps start next week, I will not be going over any of this material in my slides! Now, give me your thoughts and check out the video I was referring to after the jump!

See you next week with some recap action!