Juice with Junior

Alright, Vogue, I'm back again... Well, well, well, you had a good run of actually including some diversity in your covers last year, but it seems that we're back to you guys not only not being inclusive but also being totally out of touch with who should be on your cover in the first place. Now I don't like having this conversation as much as you do but Vogue is an institution. It's muthaf#cking Vogue, and if you won't run it right, I will!

How can you improve? First, you need to put Zoe Saldana on the cover next month. NEXT MONTH! Now I can hear you whispering, "Junior just wants all the dark girls on the magazine cover..." But that's not it. I think there are a lot of actresses and models of all colors that should be on the cover with Zoe at the top of the very long list of people who actively ignore:

Penelope Cruz. Meryl Streep. Emma Watson (better than Blake Lively IMO). Paula Patton. Ziyi Zhang (whaa! an actual Asian!)...

Do you know who I don't think should be on the cover?



Could someone, anyone at Vogue HQ explain to me how Jessica "My Teeth Will Soon Take Over the World" Biel got a cover before Zoe Saldana!!!! HOW DOES THAT EVEN EQUATE?!!!! HOW! What? Because she's the 42nd lead in "Valentine's Day"? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!

Let's rundown a few, just a few of Saldana's many credentials:


She's the only female lead in the "Star Trek" reboot (above), a wildly successful film series... She's starred in just as many successful and probably a few more successful films than Biel, and oh, what is it that I'm forgetting. Whatever could it be...?


Oh I know! PLAYING THE LEAD CHARACTER IN ONLY THE MOST SUCCESSFUL FILM EVER MADE OF ALL TIMES!!!! "Avatar" (above). Seriously. No cover.

Now I don't have a problem if Vogue wants to put only actresses on their covers, and I don't care even if they sometimes pick someone who is less than relevant, like Rachel McAdams (below) who really wasn't the memorable part of "Sherlock Holmes"...


Wow, that's a lot of makeup.

Anyway, Vogue, if you are working on correcting this problem, then please forgive this message and continue about your plans. However, if as I suspect, you are NOT planning on putting Saldana on your next cover, I'm telling you that you will officially lose all relevance and merit in my book.

And don't give me that you don't think a dark girl on the cover can sell magazines. I will personally buy like 80 copies if you put Saldana on the cover... And just to make sure you have no excuse to not put her on the cover, I have taken it upon myself to make a mock-up of what a cover could look like should you choose to run one...


Vogue this is the last time I want to have a conversation with you about this. I expect that you will get on the horn, call up Saldana's people and make it happen! FOR NEXT MONTH! That is all...

What about you? Do you want Saldana to get Vogue coverage? Or are you a little worried they'd choose a picture that would actually make her look not radiant, if that's possible...? Do emote! And if you have any MS Paint Saldana covers, do share!