Sorry, I've been a little MIA and have had to keep supplying you with videos until I can get some time to really blog, but I promise this is the last one. Until the next one. Anyway, I was at home watching the TV as usual, when the new holiday Gap ad came on. If you haven't seen it, look above... It's short, I promise...
Now without going into my disdain for the Gap as a store... Okay, I'll go into it a little bit. I don't own a single piece of clothing from the Gap. For clothes priced so much, why is it all so... blah. I've never been inside a store that big where I didn't want to wear a single thing they sold. It's all so lifeless and boooring. But I digress.
The reason I'm posting this is because when I saw the new holiday ads, I liked the fact that the store was returning to its dance roots in its commercials, like the old school West Side Story ads they did in the 90s. Also, I'm in something of a dance craze, so I was more than happy to indulge. That is until the commercial ended. That was, well, that was something. I can't say bad. But I certainly can't say good either.
It was the feeling that I needed to line these kids up and give them my critique for their little performance like I was Lydia Grant (left) or someone.
I saw one too many smiling faces at the end of that commercial and clearly someone need to be informed that it wasn't all that. I'd sit in the corner of the room, shrouded in darkness, legs crossed, fingers perched under my chin, with my glasses resting on the edge of my nose.
The moment the dancers were through and all lined up, I'd stand, dramatically, and walk over to them, pacing the floor, sizing each one up and down with my eyes. Then I'd finally say something like...
"I see a lot of happy faces out here. A lot of people who look very pleased with themselves. You think that performance you just gave was good? Some of you even think it was great. Well, let me tell you something. It. Was. A. Mess. It was sloppy. Disjointed. Uncoordinated. And just plain sad. There was no fluidity, no grace, no ease of movement in any of your steps. When I looked at the lot of you, all I saw were a bunch of individuals trying to prove who was best. There was no cohesion, and worst of all, there was no fun. No joy on your faces, only strain to perfect the next move. And then you didn't execute! You with the hat, you were fast during the entire triangle formation. A good beat ahead of everyone else not counting the beat ahead you were supposed to be! Girl in the back, I will say your mid-air split got excellent extension. As for the rest of you, think about what this dance is to celebrate, and then try it again..."
What do you think? Was the dance instructor deep within me being too harsh? Or do you agree that the commercial was lacking any sense of warmth or happiness? Everytime I see it, all I see are a bunch of dancers showing off for the camera. Is that the holiday spirit in these recessionary times? Get some screen time for yourself.
Anyway...
How would your inner dance instructor critique them?
