Yeah, yeah, yeah... So Adam Lambertreleased his album cover (below) and it turned out to be a retro glam explosion of fabulosity covered in so much stardust and galaxy essence that it literally caused Carl Sagan to come alive just to dramatically say "let's take a journey into outer space..." for a hot second before flying back to whatever heavenly plane he's currently exploring. Much love Carl.
I choose to reserve judgment on the issue, Lambert not Sagan, until I hear some music. But, until then, there is something I can't seem to get outta my head every since I saw that cover, which is fierce no doubt. However, that being said, is it just me or is Glambert serving up, well um, 80s inspired glamazonianess... with a big heaping side of Leslie Carrington (below) for good measure...
Twinnies, right? It's like he's the sister and she's the brother, right?
Alright, everyone, it's time for another Question to the World, the time when we gather 'round and discuss an issue that just needs discussing. This time it's all about babies! Don't even get me started. This post solely comes from being in a mall recently and seeing a DILF with the most adorable baby ever in his arms and thinking "Oh, maybe I should rip the boards off the windows of my uterus and take down that 'No Trespassing' sign and think about having a baby at some point. I am almost 60."
Ignoring all the self-deprecating stuff, the point of my thought bubble was a genuine one. I always say that I don't want to have kids, and when I say it, I do mean it. But I do support adoption wholeheartedly and maybe if I don't have any of my own (I'm assuming my sister will carry on the family genes and I feel sorry for the child who has her for a... you know what? I'll leave it at that), I may want to adopt someday. Which got me thinking... What ever would I name it?! List time!
Now I should be honest with everyone in that I didn't just think of this recently and start coming up with names off the top of my head. I've kept a list of names I like since I was a kid. It helps for when you get pets or cars, anything you want to name, to have a ready-made list available. Thus, the names I have I've had for awhile. The other thing I have to tell you is that my choices are also due to my last name sounding very British and having lots of "e" and "n" sounds. I don't care if you already know my last name (I may or may not have linked to stuff in the past with my full name, I can't remember), I just prefer not to type it out on the blog. Just in case my stalker ever decides to actually start stalking me (I'm waiting!).
Okay, as with all the Questions to the World, I'll tell you mine and you can then tell me yours, and I'll go first. Before I do, let me officially ask: What are your favorite baby names? Let's begin with some of mine.
Now, for some reason, I have a lot of boys baby names and not that many girls' names. What that says about me, I dunno. But let's not dwell, shall we not? Okay, I've recently been on this kick where, if I did have kids, I would have a litter of boys and only name them names with four letters. But interesting names that kids don't normally have. Plus, particularly if my kids are black like me, I would want them to have names people wouldn't expect black children to have, just to mess with convention a little.
And if I had to go outside of the four-letter word thing, I love:
Alvin Anthony Archibald Brand Brittan (pronounced like Great "Britain") Egg Eljer (pronounced "Ellger") Ferris Fivel Gunner Kenneth Linus Lowell Lukaj (pronounced "Lu-kaah-ge") Price Roland
I know. It's insane, I have so many boys names I'll need a Duggar just to have enough kids to use all these names on! For girls, the list is a little less exhaustive but I have some ideas. Like:
Angelica Asia Bettina Cady (like Lindsay Lohan in "Mean Girls") Cecile Cegusta Colette Cyprus Donovan Ilka Joie (pronounced "Joey") Kiernan Kitty Lincoln Lotte (pronounced "Lot") Luz (pronounced "Lose") Morgan Sissy Suzette Veronica
Now, I don't care if you decide that you like one of my names and use it for your baby. Hell, I'd be flattered. But I much rather hear what names you'd like to name the children you don't have yet. Or maybe you do have kids, what did you name them? Or maybe you really don't want kids and only have pets? What did you name them? Boats, RVs, penises... anything with a name, I want to know what you named it!
I look at this picture and I think 'Someone's gonna win a gem when they start dating me...'
By the way, my sarcasm is set on high right now so don't take me for serious.
p.s. The Style is a new feature to Juice with Junior that will showcase any times I think I actually look good and what I'm wearing. Thus, it will not appear very often. But if you want your picture featured in The Style, send me an e-mail with your pic and details of your outfit!
Okay, y'all, I have to tell you that I had the idea for this post like way before my well-documented and incredibly inconvenient acute expressive episode last month, and I thought I wouldn't be able to do it because by the time I felt well enough to write, they would stop showing the commercial in question. Oh, how wrong was I...
I don't know about in your area, but in NY, I see the above commercial for that Seasonique birth control about every 18 seconds. It alternates with that other birth control commercial they can't stop remaking and those Cialis commercials with the old guys talking about doing it with their wives who continually stress the sex will happen "when we're both ready." Got it medically-enhanced wiener guys...
Actually, there's a station on my dial that just shows these three commercials along with those incredibly scaryBing.comInternet facts zombie people commercials on continuous loop. Seriously, as an aside, those Bing.com commercials give me nightmares. "Moms who wear jeans to match their teens' jeans" is what you hear before you die. Anyway, while all these commercials can grate your nerves better than a Cuisinart cheese shredder, I've actually grown to love the Seasonique one.
Every time it comes on, it's like a visit from all your favorite girlfriends, sitting down, putting on a fresh pot, and gabbing... about birth control. Because that's normal. Anyway, as I clearly have a problem with ranking everything I encounter, I have actually ranked My Top 5: Favorite Ladies in That Seasonique Commercial. I know. It's like "Sophie's Choice," how could you ever choose between them? Well, I put some thought into it: friendliness, attractiveness, approachability, perkiness of hair, and came up with my choices. Have you seen this commercial? Who are your faves? Wait, before we go there, let me tell you mine...
5)
The Beautiful Half-Black Lady (above)
While her personality doesn't really shine through what with her clearly trapped on the side of a renegade sailboat battling sea drift misting in her eyes and the sun's rays beating down on her, she does get to deliver my favorite line in the commercial "this can be slight, to a flow like a regular period and should decrease over time."
The fact that she manages to describe what could happen to a woman's womanly cycle with such grace gives her points. Plus, she's unhumanly beautiful.
4)
The Tough But Sensitive Older Lady (above)
Now I would think that she wouldn't even need birth control. Not because she doesn't have sex. Oh no, she looks like she's averaging a good four times a week(p.s. she's clearly a top or on top, either or), but I would think that out of sheer will and toughness (p.s.s. she's not even wearing make-up y'all!) she could stop any sperm from reaching her eggs in the first place. That or her eggs would just eat the sperm and keep it moving...
Love her hair. Moving on.
3)
The Diva of the Night (above)
She has no time for babies. She's in the club every night. She's edgy. But beautiful. She's wearing a lipstick color I believe is called "Barracuda Berry." I may or may not be in love with her. The reason why?
Because girlfriend is rocking the turntables like nobody's business!
She's got the cans on... That's the slang they use in the clubs for the headphones: "the cans." I know. I'm so plugged in! I mean, look!
She's not even looking at the floor. She's here for one reason and one reason only. To make you dance. And to not have babies. In that order.
2)
Miss Sasstastic (above)
I'm so glad they chose her for the intro because really who wouldn't stop for those ringlets, that brassy delivery, and the knowledge that girlfriend is not about to have a period every month when there is no medical need for it. Whaaaat?
Please, she's got better things to do. I kinda imagine that all her girlfriends secretly hate her because she can eat whatever she wants and not get fat. But they all come back to her anyway because she's the life of the party. Clearly.
1)
The Everybody's Best Friend (above)
How many people in the room know this girl?Right! I know! I know her too! I think we all do. I think every single person on the face of the earth knows a girl who looks exactly like this. She's good looking but not ostentatious.
She's perky, yet not annoying. If my boyfriend broke up with me, I'd totally call and be like "Sarah, can you believe that sh!t. I mean, we were just talking about getting that timeshare on the Jersey Shore and now this!" And her reply: "Right when I'm finished doing this girl's makeup, I'll be over with some Entenmanns and 'Kate & Leopold.'"
Seriously, I don't even know her and I want to be her BFF like tomorrow.
Now that I just proved that I clearly have too much free brain space devoted to things I see on the TV, I need to know, who's your favorite lady in the Seasonique commercial?Or do you have another secret fantasy friend from the commercials that you just love?
It could be anyone... Like for me, I'll be honest, I'd f#ck the jogging father in that Match.com ad (below) in a heartbeat.
