Juice with Junior

Okay, so I don't know if you guys know or whatever, but there's this thing that started in San Diego today called Comic-Con (left).

Don't ask me anything about it 'cause I don't know. I got 99 problems but a Comic-Con ain't one. From what I can piece together, it's a convention where comic book writers, science fiction television show creators and actors, and other people involved in the fantasy arts show up to peddle their wares on hoards of fanboys and fangirls who show up in the costumes of their favorite fantasy character. Wow. Actually, I think that's a pretty fair description of the event. I know a little something something ovah here. Anyway, the reason that I'm even talking about it is because I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT! IT'S EVERYWHERE!

Seriously, I can't visit any of my favorite entertainment websites without being reminded that not only has Comic-Con started but that it's amazing and you're not being here means you're missing out, but really if you didn't know than there was no hope for you anyway. And freeze! This is really why I'm talking about it... I've started to notice something about my science fiction friends that I wanted to share with you all. Now, I may be losing it, or I may be onto something. That I can't decide. I'll just say it and see where it takes me...


So I feel like people who enjoy science fiction, comic books, fantasy stuff and the like are having a really good couple of years. I feel like with the success of the "Lord of the Rings" books and films, the "Harry Potter" books and films (above), the "Twilight" books and films...

Sheesh!

And other successes like on TV with NBC's "Heroes" (which isn't as successful anymore really) ABC's "Lost" and SyFy's "Battlestar Galactica" or in film, I thinking of that "Star Trek" reboot etc. etc. that science fiction and fantasy (and yes, I know! THEY ARE TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE AND UNRELATED GENRES! I learned that lesson the hard way... You try calming down a 16-year-old bookstore patron who is highly offended you called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fantasy...) fans have a lot to celebrate and are growing in numbers. So much so that Comic-Con has turned into something that happened every year to AN EVENT! One that I have to see articles about flash in my face... every... time... I... open... my... Internet... browser...

Okay, around this time you may have noticed my sniveling and are wondering what it is I have against Comic-Con and sci-fi fans to begin with. Well, I ain't got nothing against Comic-Con. I understand it. I get it.

Trust me, if there was a "Dynasty" Convention at a center somewhere, I'd be the first person in line in my fiercest Fallon Carrington (right) costume shouting things like "Jeff, get that baby away from me!" I totally get it; it's a chance to celebrate your interests with others who are like-minded. My problem with the fanboys and girls, and if you are one understand that I still love you all and I say this because the blog is a space of healing but...

You sci-fi b!tches is stuck the f#ck up. I'm serious.

With their recent popularity in popular culture, the... whatever you want to call them... nerds, geeks, whatever, have become really snotty when it comes to welcoming people like me into the fray... The people who think "Battlestar Galactica" was a good show and everything but didn't care when it didn't get top Emmy nods, or those who think Robert Pattison really just looks like he's one stomach flu away from having translucent skin, or those don't want to analyze the direction every tree branch was swaying in during one scene of "Lost"...

You know what? "Lost" (below) is a good example.


I loved the first season of "Lost." Watched every episode. But then as the writers compounded mystery after mystery, I just wanted them to go back to having Jack and Kate walk around the jungle and talk. I remember I said something to that effect on a "Lost" messageboard one time (what was I thinking?) and was promptly told that I didn't "understand what was going on" and clearly shouldn't be watching anymore and was "stupid."

And that's my basic problem with this current movement. I feel like it's members don't really open their arms and help people who don't want to dress up for Comic-Con appreciate their art. I tried to have an e-mail friend who loves "Torchwood" (left) explain what the hell it was about to me 'cause I didn't get it and I got a sigh... over e-mail!

A loud sigh and instructions on how to visit the show's Wikipedia page. Is it just me? Does anyone else think that fanpeople are cliquing out as bad as sports fans or doll collectors (shudder)?

Because I would like to know the skinny on all this stuff because it's popular and I need to be around popular, but I don't want to care about it all that much. I just want to remain mildly interested, but I feel like the fans that run the blogs and write the reviews don't want to hear it. Almost last point, so take me and soap operas. I love them. And if anyone wants to know more about them, I'm always the first one breaking down the entire plot structure and cluing you in on why that one hates that one because she switch the babies and that one is in love with that one but he's bad news... Is there a place people like me can go that's like me for soap operas? Wow. That made no sense, but you catch my drift?

But anyway, I know that by airing this grievance, I'm opening up myself to science fiction peeps telling me to suck it but it's how I feel.


And I know there may be some more of you who wonder why I feel this way at all. Why not just watch the shows or the movies, read the books if you want to and don't care about what the die hard fans have to say about your (lack of) fervor? Well, I would agree, except that whenever you enjoy entertainment, it's nice to talk to others about it. It's nice to be part of the community. It's just that the sci fi/fantasy faction is becoming highly insider.

Not that it's the only group of fans that's like that.

Oh no. I've been dealing with the intellectual/hipster/indie crowd for as long as I can remember. Ughness!

Trying to talk bad or at all about any of their beloveds: "Mad Men," TV on the Radio (right), "SNL," which went from being indie to not to back again, will get you an Internet smackdown right quick. Trust me here!

That's why I don't even bother going to those sites or talking to those fans at all. Plus, they all look like they're not enjoying the entertainment anyway. And that's the (hopefully final) thing I don't get about the fanperson. They look like they're having so much fun enjoying their entertainment, yet I feel like they keep it to themselves and don't let the rest of us come over to play, with the understanding that we don't want to hear your "X Files" conspiracy theories... We just like the show...

I guess my gripe is that I feel like the world they've built is interesting but a little dismissive of non-members. Although again, it could just be me. So what do you think? Are fanboys and fangirls living a little high on the entertainment hog and don't want to share? Or do they sense my ambivalence and don't want to waste their time? Or have I not found the right fans yet? And science fiction/fantasy lovers who may be in secret, let your voices be heard!

Despite my moratorium on anything wedding related given the current gay marriage battle being waged in the country right now (would you believe I saw 11 Boy Scouts asking cars to honk if they believed in "traditional marriage" this weekend next to the mall... for no reason whatsoever! What merit badge is that? Douchebaggery), I actually found myself watching a couple episodes of that TLC show "Say Yes to the Dress" recently. For those with lives, "Say Yes..." chronicles the wedding dress consultants and prospective brides at Kleinfeld, a moderately upscale bridal boutique in Manhattan. I've watched this show with my mother in the past and as I was watching recently, something struck me again like it did when I watched it in the past. Okay, you see that wedding dress the girl is wearing the photo above. Yeah, all the "consultants" at Kleinfeld put every bride into that dress. I watched three episodes and couldn't do it.

I don't care how many ribbons you put on it, if the dress is a strapless, white satin mermaid-shaped gown with an organza overlay... it's the same dress!


Right, am I crazy? Have you noticed this as well?

I watched like four different episodes recently and all the brides save for one or two were wearing the same dress, and while it's a pretty dress the problem is that strapless mermaid is not a style that works for everyone. Okay, it's around this time that I need to make a confession. Because I'm the gayest man on the face of the earth, my first job was at a bridal shop. I was 15. I was a runner.

Basically, I took the dresses the ladies tried on from their fitting rooms back to the showroom. I also rang up sales and did a little stock. Oh, and I dyed shoes. I was surprisingly good at that. Anyway, I couldn't be a consultant.

Because I have a penis. However, that didn't stop future brides from asking my opinion on dresses, and I told them. If you have hips, this is right for you. Want to cover your arms? Try this one. Over the years, I got pretty good at helping these ladies out. And that's why I get a little miffed when these "consultants" put every customer in the SAME DRESS!

I had to turn the channel. I mean, really! Where are the halters? Where are the cap sleeves? Where are the spaghetti straps? The full sleeves? The empire waists? The sheath dresses? The lace fronts? The boat necks? Can a b!tch get a ballgown up in here?!

To make sure I'm not losing my mind, does anyone else watch "Say Yes to the Dress" and does anyone else notice that they put 99% of their brides in the same type of dress? I saw they put one girl in cap sleeves. And then they took her out of it, and put her back in a fish-tailed, mermaid gown with a corset bodice and a sweetheart neckline. I could have killed them. Here's a sample...



For your information, I would have put the girl in the above video in an off the shoulder A-line cap sleeve dress because she has arms, and she has breasts, and all a strapless dress does is make her chest look like a sausage link.

I have to stop watching this show...

Through the trees in Central Park.

(p.s. this is for my photographers out there. I took this on film and scanned it for the post, but how do you achieve this effect with a digital camera? That's why I don't have one because I can never get the composition to look this rich.)

Today's Word of the Day is:

bisexuality

Alright, we're going to school today, everybody! I've noticed that some of you out in the world are still confused about bisexuality and I wanted to take a moment to clear some things up. I am a bisexual man. It's my sexuality. It's who I am. Yet, despite my confidence in and understanding of my sexuality, I have gotten into many a conversation turned argument with people about what bisexuality is and what it isn't. I've had "oh, you're just gay," "you're confused," "you're just scared to tell people you're gay," and much much more hurled at me through the years. Although all gay people have made strides in promoting understanding, bisexuality is still the red-headed step child of the sexualities. Well, not anymore. First, the definition:

bisexuality: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward both sexes

Okay, there's a lot to talk about here but I'm gonna try to condense it as much as possible. I'll use bullet points, that seems to work well. And because I find it's easier to talk about what bisexuality isn't than what it is, let's work that way. Ready to have your mind cleared of misconception? Good. And to all those enlightened who know this stuff already, consider this a refresher course.


Bullet Point #1: Bisexuality exists and is not a 50/50 split.

You would not believe how many people A) think there is no such thing as bisexuality and B) think that, to be bisexual, it means you have to like men and women perfectly equally 50/50. Wrong and wronger. We'll use me as an example. I'm bisexual, but I have a stronger attraction to men. You may think that makes me gay, but notice the definition: "direct sexual desire to both sexes." I do direct desire toward women, just not as much as I do men. But it's still there and I won't deny it, as many would like.

Think of it this way. I calculate my attraction as a ratio: 70/30, which means that I like men 70% of the time and I like women 30% of the time.

That means if a man walks up to me, 70% of the time I will find him attractive. If it's a woman: then 30% of the time, I would find her attractive. Or think of it like this. If there's a room with 200 people in it, 100 men and 100 women, and someone asks me to go inside and pick 100 people I'm attracted to, I would most likely pick out 70 men and 30 women. Make sense? My whole point is that as long as you harbor some strong consistent sexual attraction (I'm not talking thinking some woman looks fierce... I'm talking about wanting to get into naughty bits and such) for both sexes, than you're bisexual, even if the attraction to one sex isn't as strong as your attraction for the other. Which leads to my next point...

#2: Bisexuality is not confusion, nor is it constant swapping

I am in no way confused. I have known I was attracted to both genders in varying levels since I was 9 years old. After a few years of self-searching, I realized that bisexual was the best label for me (although I think all our labels are limiting). I made that decision at 16. No muss. No fuss. There are still people who think bisexuality means constantly being unsure about who you're attracted to. No. I like everyone. I've always liked men a little more, but trust me there are days when I've seen a woman and been completely bowled over. Like with Beyoncé (below). Hi Bey. You look pretty today.

I don't talk about it much, I don't know why, but there have been a few girls who have broken old Junior's heart. Catalina knows who she is. Oops, I wasn't supposed to type that. Nor was I supposed to type the fact that she started dating my friend when she knew I liked her. Sorry, that was another mistake.

But I like men more, and I'm perfectly content to only be with men. See, that's the other misconception people have. Bisexuality is solely based on who you're attracted to. You don't have to prove your bisexuality by dating man than woman than man than... We're not going to take away your Bisexuality Card if you stay with one gender.

#3: Bisexuality is not a choice, for people scared to say they're gay, or a way to be separate from only gay people

Okay, for my last point, we're getting to my biggest pet peeve. First, the idea that bisexuality is a choice. While it may seem like people, especially women, are just going bi because it's cool, most of them aren't really bi, they're doing it for the attention of the other sex. Because true bisexuality is not a choice, just like no other sexuality. Now for the "gay" stuff. Okay, deep breath...


Are there people who say they're bisexual when they have no attraction to the opposite sex but are saying that just so they don't have to tell people they're gay? Of course there are, just like there are people who say they're straight when they're gay because they're scared. But not all bisexual people are liars, and bisexual doesn't automatically mean that they're really only gay...

But I wanted to wrap up by talking to my bisexual brethren for a minute, and it's about the use of the word gay. I was once out at a gay club when I heard this girl say something about how everyone she knew was gay. Then, her friend, another girl, screamed "I'm bisexual!" as if that magically separated her from the pack. No, wrong again. Bisexual people, guess what, we're gay.

Just because we happen to be attracted to members of the opposite sex doesn't mean we're any less gay than a gay person who is attracted to the same sex 100%. We're the same. Confused? I'll use an analogy. Let's say that being gay is like being Canadian, bisexual is like being from Toronto, and being straight is being from the United States.

When you're in Canada and you ask a Canadian where they're from they might say "Toronto." But when you ask a Canadian where they're from when they're in the United States, they'll usually say they're from "Canada." Get it? In the gay world, bisexual sets us a little apart from our gay brothers and sisters and lets them know that we are proud of our entire sexual orientation. But in the overall world, we're gay, our bisexuality doesn't one-up us over gay people. I don't care if you're married to someone of the opposite sex, have six kids and a houseboat in Boca, if you see someone of the same sex and want to put their reproductives in your mouth, then you're gay! Oh, and we're not promiscuous, wanted to add that...

Anyway, when I'm at a rally or party or the supermarket and someone screams "All my gays make some noise!" I scream just as loud as everyone else. Because while I'm proud to be bisexual and wanted to make sure people understood what that meant, I'm more proud to be a part of the gay community... And now I'm crying... Because they accept and love everyone for who they are...


And that's what Gay Pride Week is all about! Okay, are you bisexal? Do you know any bisexual people (besides me)? Do you have any preconceived notions or misconceptions about bisexuality that I can clear up? Like you think we all want threesomes (not true) or that we are all probably a little bisexual (true).

Would you like me to explain what it feels like to be rejected by members of both genders (not fun)? You resident bi guy is here! Just ask away!

(p.s. this word and tons more like it are always in The Junior Glossary!)

Editor's Note: Like everything in this post is NSFW. That is not a joke.


Are the kiddies asleep? Are they? They better be, because this post is seriously not for them. We're going to be talking about porn, sorry, personal entertainment videos, and I can't be held responsible if you didn't put the kiddies to bed before now, you let them use the computer, they found this post, and are now... asking questions. Don't blame me. Now, are they asleep? They are... Good. Because this post is only for the grown & sexy... Or should I say the grown & lonely as it is about porn... But not just any porn.

The best kind: gay porn!

Okay, look, I love porn. I do. Love it. And millions upon millions do too. Along with prostitution, people may not like porn but it's always existed, exists now, and will exist in the future. It's always. I know it's degrading to just about everyone and the industry itself is rife with exploitation and drugs and suffering and crying body curled up in the shower.

But so is McDonald's, and at least porn won't make you fat (especially not your right arm). It would be completely hypocritical to say we shouldn't watch it because of all the stuff I mentioned and because it maybe can erode respect for human sexuality...

Yada yada yada. The deal is I posses it. I watch it. I love it. Hey! I'm a single man OK! There is no sex in my champagne room! Why am I being so defensive? You know why. I think it's because when people hear me say I love porn, they think I'm talking about the main event, like I'm some ravenous sex fiend whose hands have turned into claws after years of self-love with the window blinds shut so the days and nights blend together into a dizzying pornographic haze. While that's all true, it's not why I love porn. To be honest, the sex is actually the most boring part.


I mean how many times can you see one thing go into another thing and come out again and back in again and squeezed and licked and put in again over and over. Yawn. Is "Chelsea Lately" on? No, the thing I love most about porn is the set-up. The Intro. The moments before the sex ever happens.

And while I love these moments in all porn, the intros in gay porn are simply the best. Gay porn intros are some of the funniest, most nonsensical, implausible, patently ridiculous pieces of entertainment I have ever seen.

And I thought I couldn't let Gay Pride Week at the blog go by without talking about them. Why? Because it's great to celebrate the community and all that, but when it comes down to it gay people are different from straight people because of who we have sex with so let's not pretend the sex doesn't exist.

There'd be no rainbow flag if it wasn't for the sex, so let's be proud of it! (p.s. this rationale is also why I was disappointed with the reduced numbers of shirtless men at this year's NYC Pride Parade. C'mon guys! Take your shirts off for THE COMMUNITY!) Okay, so let's talk a little watch a little and I'll convince you why there should be a channel that just shows 24 hours of gay porn intros a day.

Now there are all different types of gay porn... Oh, and when I say "gay porn," I'm really referring only to male-to-male porn as most woman-to-woman porn is made for straight men and often lesbians don't watch it... Lesbians have their own porn but its not the junk I sifted through on YouTube. That was all for the titillation of straight guys, and it was really bad. Imagine two women who clearly look like they have no idea what to do nor want to do it pawing at each other like tiger cubs.

No, not hot. Some gay porn actors do have that deer in headlights look too, but most of them look like their pretty into it no matter how "straight" they want to tell people they are. That's also the reason I can't watch straight porn either. The women are always degraded in some way and look like they'd rather not have this guy touching them so much. But I'm getting off track....


Now there are all different types of gay porn, but my favorite is just your run-of-the-mill big studio produced, polished and shiny mainstream porn. No kink. No funny business. Maybe a little muscle worship. But there is certainly no one hanging from a ceiling by a harness while guys in plushy bear costumes beat him with reeds while screaming lyrics from "Hello, Dolly" in baby voices.

I guess when you're like me and you work so hard to just have regular sex with someone, you aren't really interested in dressing it up beyond vanilla.

But for today's purposes, these videos are the best because they often put the sex scenes into the context of some story, which is where the hilarity begins. These porn storylines are usually insane, way too comical, or way too serious for their own good. Take the lawyer who comes home... you know what, I can't even explain this clip below, it's that convoluted. But the acting is boffo. Enjoy!



The thing about mainstream gay porn that's so funny is that because masculinity is so revered in the porn world (feminine men rarely get to be the stars because the consumers want big strong men... I should talk, right?), they get these giant men to be the actors (there are other genres for more femme types but I'm talking mainstream here). But in reality giant men don't start suddenly making out (how great would it be if they did!?). So the porn "writer" has to find a way to connect those worlds. They have to somehow get the big beefy guy to suddenly start having sex with the other big beefy guy.

And as the story is like I said, ridiculous, they can't rely on that. Instead, you get scenes of a guy, you know, just out at a campsite enjoying his bonfire when a property owner without a shirt shows up (below)...



Or when you're just moseying along the beach, minding your own beeswax, and you run into a curious stranger (below)...



Or you are SANDING A TABLE WITHOUT A SHIRT FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER! when your buddy shows up to help (below)...



The other thing I love is the anticipation. You know what's gonna happen next. The actors clearly look like they're waiting for THE SIGNAL, yet we're gonna draw this out for a long as possible because a video of just sex scenes is tres déclassé. And it's not just a duo... or triple or quadruple partner videos...

Speaking of, I can't find a video of it clean enough, but I once saw this video where it was literally like 11 men trapped in an underground coal mine where the only thing they could think to do to save their lives was do each other! LOL X INFINITY! Anyway, the solo videos are often just as hilarious.

Slowly walking, oh you know what? I should take my shirt off. Sitting in bed... Wait, let me take this underwear off, it's awfully tight. Standing in the middle of nowhere and just happening to have a bottle of baby oil with you...



Now by my pointing this all out, understand that that in no way means I want any of it to change. Hell to the no! Stay the same, porn writers! I like my porn like I like my relationships, stupidly ridiculous and ending in a flurry of sex.

Don't make anything more believable or logical in any way. Where's the fun in that? Now because I never leave you guys empty-handed, I found this one video the YouTubes and had to share it. It is, seriously, the perfect example of everything I love about the gay porn scene intro: the nonsensical set-up, the rationalizing two guys suddenly getting together, the dialogue (!), it's so good!

I'll give you a preview: one of the actors utters the line "Hmm... Before I started delivering, I did massages. Would you like one?" Yes, it's that good...



"Great. I'd appreciate that. Let's go to the bedroom." ROTFLMAAFAEEO!! (rolling on the floor laughing my a$$ and face and everything else off).

Alright, now that you know I'm not a complete and total skeeve and that the scope of my love of personal entertainment videos goes beyond the insertion and eruption of things, I need to know if anyone else finds these moments to be little gems of entertainment. Some of these videos are funnier than "The Office," let me tell you!

But let me back it up, anyone else willing to admit they've even seen a personal entertainment video let alone possess them? And if you do, do you love these awkward pre-sex moments too?

And if both apply, which I know will be a stretch, describe the zaniest most crazy storyline you've seen from one of these sex time videos.

While gay is my favorite, if you have stories from straight videos as well, I love hearing about them too! Like the video about the alien zombie crime fighter girls who only knew one way to remove the undead spirit from a man's body...

What way was that again? Darn, I plum forgot...

Welcome, everyone! Day Three. Gay Pride Week. Okay, today, we're gonna talk about something gay (DUH!) but not only are we gonna talk gay, we're gonna talk gay love. What's so special about gay love, you ask?

Um, how about everything. I know a few of you are looking at me like "Junior, for a man who has so little gay love in his life, why do you think it's such a good thing?" Well, first of all... whatever. And second of all, gay love is the best because... it's hot. Society doesn't sanction it or put it on billboards so it's often done at the expense of what people tell you to do. It's all about glances and emotions and the desire to be with someone no matter what.

And that's only the beginning. When the relationship gets going, you discover so much you love about this person who you're with because it makes you both happy. And then if (or when) you break up...

WATCH OUT! There is nothing better than the gay break-up! Think you've seen drama? You ain't seen nothing if you haven't seen a gay couple of either gender have a post-relationship throw down. But do you know what I love more than all of this... I love when it happens to my favorite musicians! Yes, that's what we're discussing today: those songs that chronicle the passion, intensity, adoration, lust, pain, anger, heartache, and sadness of gay love.

That's why I bring you My Top 10! Favorite Gay Love Songs! Everyone can listen and love these songs, of course, but the gay people may connect especially well. But instead of a straight list (no pun intended), let's switch it up.

I think this time, we're gonna do a little talking about the songs I chose and why I think they meet the criteria of a great gay love song. And, back it up, we'll also go over what the criteria for a "gay love song" are. I can't wait!


Let's get our gay love on!

(p.s. the songs are all my faves so they aren't numbered, just follow along. I promise it'll make sense! Oh, and you'll get a chance to submit at the end! And remember links and vids are like love sometimes, they don't last forever! Listen now!)


The Beginning - Love at First Sight

k.d. lang - "World of Love" (listen via YouTube)
Will Young - "I Won't Give Up" (listen below)

Maybe you just met or it's the very beginning of the relaylay. You're getting a feel for this new guy or girl who has come into your life and you know you like them, you're just not sure about how this is all gonna work out. You're trying to calm your excitement over the whole thing, but you just can't!

Well, these are the songs for you!

What makes these songs gay, you ask? Well, both performers co-wrote their songs and both are openly gay and doing it in the music scene. Lang also reminds everyone that she's singing about a lady with lines like "the touch of the sun was caressing her skin." And I've posted that song from Young before but I just love it's eagerness.

We've all been there!

"World of Love" from "All You Can Eat" (1995)
"I Won't Give Up" from "Let it Go" (2008)


The Middle - Falling Deeper in Love, and Lust

Scissor Sisters - "Might Tell You Tonight" (listen below left)
Meshell Ndegeocello - "Let Me Have You" (listen below center)
Sleater-Kinney - "Oh!" (listen below right)



You done did it now. That guy or gal has you head over heels and you're doing everything you can to please them, including saying the big "I love you!" Let's listen to the songs that should be on your playlist in that situation.

Now I've posted it before, but the New York Glam Gods Scissor Sisters always get me with "Might Tell You Tonight," which tells the tale of a guy deciding to give up his old playboy ways and tell his lovah that he loves him. Gay lead singer co-songwriter Jake Shears said it was even based on a past relationship! I love that!

Now bisexual alt soul siren Ndegeocello is telling us exactly what happens next (or first or only) in a gay love story, or any love story for that matter. The actual love making. "Let Me Have You" is a great slow jam destined to get your blood pumping. Speaking of... Listen to "Oh!" by now-defunct Washington State grrrrl rockers Sleater-Kinney. The jury's out if the song is solely about pleasuring oneself, I take "Oh!" to be more of a ode to a lover who knows how to hit the spot. Plus the line "the way I feel when you call my name/makes me go crazy to sane" is crazy sweet. I love gay love songs (former lead singer Carrie Brownstein is gay and singer/guitarist Corin Tucker is bisexual, if you were wondering).

"Might Tell You Tonight" from "Tah Dah" (2006)
"Let Me Have You" from "How Stella Got Her Groove Back: Music from the Motion Picture" (1998)
"Oh!" from "One Beat" (2002)


The End - Falling Out of Love, Or My CDs Betta Be Here or I'll See You on "Judge Judy"... Just Kidding, Let's Work It Out

Tracy Chapman - "Give Me One Reason" (video below left)
George Michael - "Cowboys and Angels" (listen below center)
Melissa Etheridge - "I'm the Only One" (listen below right)



So the romance is over. You're standing in your bedroom staring at the closet trying to remember if these white socks in his hands are his or yours, when you realize, you kinda like the big lug. Maybe I should apologize? Or he should? Yeah, he should. These are the songs for you. These are some of my favorites...

Chapman's "Give Me One Reason" is chill, you see that old love looking at you you just need "one reason I should stay." What makes the song gay?

Chapman, a lesbian although she doesn't discuss it much, wrote it and just take a look at that video. It's the butchest thing ever! Now, Michael's "Cowboys and Angels" not only uses an expression describing gay men's relationships for its title, but it also was written and performed by the very gaaaay Michael, and it's one of my favorite songs.

It would be my "American Idol" song, but not at the auditions, like at the finals when I could have a smoke machine and everything. Anyway, it's a great song about letting that love go. And Etheridge's "I'm the Only One" is a classic tale of spurned lover telling the one who left that no one will love them better. These are some of my favorite songs! Why the break-up songs?!

Clearly, I have problems...

"Give Me One Reason" from "New Beginning" (1995)
"Cowboys and Angels" from "Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1" (1990)
"I'm the Only One" from "Yes I Am" (1993)


The Yearning - I Knew I Had Some Love 'Round Here Somewhere

Rufus Wainwright - "Grey Gardens" (video below left)
Ivri Lider - "The Man I Love" (listen below right)



And then there are those songs that don't talk about relationships at all, but simply describe the yearning for love. "Grey Gardens" alludes to the story of Jackie O's relatives and a Thomas Mann story about a man who falls in love with a boy. This is a lot to process, I find "Gardens" to be an affecting story from someone desperate to "get things straight" in their life and love.

And between Sam and I, we have posted the video of the Israeli music star's cover of the classic George and Ira Gershwin song like 1,000 times, but Lider's version is so beautiful that I had to. Although it wasn't written as a gay song, can we just adopt it? We can. I'll start the paperwork.

"Grey Gardens" from "Poses" (2002)
"The Man I Love" from "The Bubble Soundtrack" (2006)


That's the Love List!

Now, I literally did a quick search of songs on my iPod and as I don't have the widest breadth of music know-how, I need to know, do you have any favorite gay love songs that I need to play while I sit by candlelight and slowly rock in my chair pretending someone is holding me tight? Wow, why do I always tell you people about my private moments! Anyway, do share!

Hello kittens, lovemuffins, and assorted delicious wonderfuls of the world! Welcome to the Second Annual Gay Pride Week right here at Juice with Junior! I know! I can't believe it either! Well, it's here so let's gab...

So you guys know that I wanted to do it last month, but when I looked at the schedule around the time of the big New York City Pride Parade (below right), I realized that with Canada Day and the Fourth of July, that I couldn't really give the week the justice it deserves until later on. And, although July isn't the national official Gay Pride Month, who gives a strap-on! We gay people of the country and the world should, and need, to be proud 24/7 so that's why it's this week. Now we'll have the time to do it right!

So wondering what you can expect all week long? Well, we'll have posts all about gay identity, community, issues, entertainment, and as always your perfectly on-target input! And even if you're not gay, we'll have stuff for you to get involved. Because really, gay pride is not just for gay people; it's for everyone. Dim the lights please.

Yes, Junior is 'bout to get serious. While I know that fighting for marriage equality is important to the gay community right now, I just want people to remember that there are other issues the community needs to tackle. Getting out into the overall community to educate people. Because ignorance breeds fear and as long as people can say they don't know us or what we're all about, then it's easier to hate us.

Plus, we need stronger hate crimes laws, job discrimination laws. There should be more inclusive descriptions of the sexuality of historical figures in schools, and we all need to get over the internalized sexism that drives so much hate against boys who aren't the epitome of masculinity. Travel protections in other countries, hate speech laws to keep people from spewing filth into the ether.

There is so much. But I know that if we keep supporting the right people in government, spending our money wisely, teaching others about gayness, and calmly dispelling hate in our day to day lives, the world will be a better place for our queer children. Excuse me! I'm getting verklempt!

Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic. A fierce queen is neither ferocious or royalty. Discuss. Okay, I'm better. So that's what Gay Pride Week is all about. Now I thought I would leave you with some photos I took from the Pride Parade in Manhattan. Of course, I took pictures of me there but none of them came out. The only one I have is above left and may be the best picture of my sunglasses ever. Me?

Not so much. Enjoy! Click to enlarge photos!


The peeps above handed out Kiehls so they were my new best friends...



In addition to Michael Urie, I also saw the fabulous Marissa Jaret Winokur (above) from "Hairspray" promoting that Oxygen show "Dance Your A$$ Off." Of course, my cell phone cam couldn't get a good picture, but it's her! Promise! She even waved in my general direction. Not at me, unforts...







The firefighter's float above, or Junior's heaven on earth (click to enlarge)...





She was whipping him all down 5th Ave (above). Wonder what he did?



Hot. Above. That is all.



HAPPY GAY PRIDE WEEK EVERYONE!

(p.s. there's a new poll in the sidebar that's all gay all the time! Vote up!)

Happy Canada Day, everyone! Yes, today we're celebrating Canada Day not only because, well, that's what today is, but also because this very blog has many readers that come from the Land Up North and I wanted to take some time to celebrate them and the land from which they hail.

As with everything on the blog, I have a story about Canada. When I was applying for colleges in high school, one of the schools I really wanted to get into was McGill University in Montreal, Quebec. I could just picture myself bashing about the city, picking up some French, sleeping with a whole host of French-Canadian men, actually sleeping with Canadian men from all the provinces really. Yes, my dream was more of a Tour of Skankdom through Canada's landscape and I couldn't wait to go.

But then they didn't accept me.

Instead, I had to go to school in Upstate New York, and, trust me, doing a Tour of Skankdom through the Great Appalachian Valley is not as exciting. My sister then decided to do a semester at McGill, which angered me more than you'll know. So the one and only time I've ever been to Canada was to visit my sister at McGill, and cry.

There was crying involved. Oh, and as that was pre-9/11, I had to force them to stamp my passport so I'd have proof I was even there, which the Mountie was so annoyed with having to do that the stamp falls off the edge of the page on my passport. That's why I can't wait to go back! I need to have a good Canadian story; and I need to sleep with a sturdy Canadian man. Just once.


Because I really do love so much about Canada. I love the way it treats its citizens. While the country has problems, they seem to treat people with at least some general respect. I love its acting exports like Mike Myers and Pamela Anderson. I love music by many Canadian artists like Deborah Cox (above), Nelly Furtado, Michael Bublé, Tamia, Céline Dion, Joni Mitchell, Ron Sexsmith, and of course k.d. lang.

And I would really love to go on a complete tour of the Canadian Rockies and see all the hillsides and snow-capped mountains while they're still there. Sleep with a couple of Mounties (left) and lumberjacks and be on my way. Wow. I just realized a lot of my love of Canada has to do with sleeping with its men.

Hmmmm....

Anyway, I don't know how serious Canadians take Canada Day. I don't know if it is a very respected holiday where people have the day off and do lots of activities like the US' 4th of July or if it is more ho hum among Canucks (can I say that if I'm not one of them?), so Canadians in the house, do tell me if I'm making a big deal over nothing. But regardless, I say to everyone Happy Canada Day! Celebrate in your own way all day today and if you see a Canadian in the street be sure to give a wave.

And because you can't tell who's Canadian just by looking at them, just wave to everyone today just to be sure. Now lastly, I wanted to include a YouTube video in this post, but not just any video; I wanted The Most Canadian YouTube Video Ever Made. I searched and think this is it below...



It's a group of famous Canadians singing "O Canada," the Canadian national anthem, for some Canadian organization that distributed the video to thousands of Canadian schools. It could only get more Canadian if they were singing in the middle of an ice rink with a hockey game being played around them while drenched in maple syrup.

And if that video exists, please share it.

HAPPY CANADA DAY, EVERYONE!