Every single day, as I make my way downtown, I pass a large-scale version of the above poster for the upcoming Sherlock Holmes movie featuring Robert "No Matter How Much Coke I (Allegedly) Do People Will Love Me" Downey, Jr. and Jude Law. And every single time I pass it, I think to myself "That has to be the gayest movie poster I have ever seen before." Now as I am a gay man myself, you have to understand that I say that with love, not pejoratively. I don't wish the poster were straighter, I'm merely surprised that a top line movie studio exec didn't pause and think "Hmm, is it just me or could this poster not be any gayer if it was two men literally making love on top of a box filled with kittens and fashion sense."
I kind of can't believe it's what's selling a major holiday blockbuster. Are you having trouble seeing what I am? Let's break it down:
1. Jude Law. Girlfriend is wurkin' it like nobody's business! This picture is proof to me that there is a little fab in everyone. First of all, can we talk about the pout? If he is not making this pout throughout the entire movie, I will be sorely disappointed. Secondly, I want that suit. Thirdly, and most importantly, WHERE IS HIS OTHER HAND!!!!????
2. Downey, Jr.'s feathered hair. It's not really gay. It's more lesbian. I've definitely seen a lesbian or two rock that hair for a fun evening out...
5. Downey, Jr. is clearly covering something up with his hand placement there and I think it may be related to the fact that WE CAN'T SEE JUDE'S OTHER HAND!!!
6-INFINITY. The whole thing. Seriously, the poster for "Brokeback Mountain" was straighter.
What do you think? Am I seeing what I want to see or am I seeing what is actually there, ie. one of the gayest movie posters of all time? I think this poster is gonna make me see this stupid movie. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm waiting for "Miss Marple Attacks!"
Junior, After Dark is my Tumblr about gay, erotic personal entertainment videos and general male hotness! WARNING: The site is incredibly NSFW. You must be 18+ and must consent to viewing images of nudity and sex acts performed on men by men.