Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day, everyone! I hope you are having a great day talking to your father, hanging out with your father, remembering your father, or celebrating fathers.
Now out of all the made-up holidays our society chooses to embrace, I actually don't hate Father's Day that much. I don't think fathers get enough recognition as it is. From deadbeat dads to Jon Gosselin, dads really don't get much praise.
Now, of course, some of that is the fault of the dads themselves. Because the numbers don't lie, there are many many dads who are completely out of the picture when it comes to their children's lives. And that truly is unfortunate because, although a mother or two mothers can raise a wonderful, well-adjusted child, having a father who is another caretaker of the child couldn't hurt. That's why we should celebrate fathers.
Not those father's who defensively say "I take care of my kids!" when we all know no one should be praised for doing something they should do, but those fathers who provide love, support, and guidance to their children whether they are married to the mother, separated, two gay married fathers, single fathers, single gay fathers, adopted fathers, step-fathers, single gay adopted step-fathers...
Whew, this is getting complicated.
Anyway, they all deserve our praise. Which I guess brings me to my father. For I felt bad that I couldn't go to Pennsylvania to see him so I could only give him a call. I really should have tried harder as I have an incredible father. He's kind and caring and supportive but funny and generally a really nice guy. I don't have a buddy-buddy kind of relationship with him but it's good.
We talk and hang out occasionally. Well, not that occasionally as my father likes to do things I can't stand like go to basketball games and stuff because he used to be and is a great player. I fall asleep at basketball games so you see what the problem is. And that's the other reason he's great is that when he heard he was having a son, I'm sure he had ideas about me playing basketball and hanging out with him and then I was born: seven pounds of fabulocity covered in glitter!
But he never made me do anything I didn't want to.
Never pushed me into anything and never was ashamed of me or embarrassed that I wasn't more like him. I sometimes hear stories about other people's fathers and they can't say the same so I'm thankful I have the dad that I do.
Okay, now that I have managed to well up all over my keyboard, I'm gonna turn it over to you but before I do, I have to tell you a story. So my dad is great and all that, but he's recently been getting on my last nerve because he insists on learning how to ride a motorcycle... At age 57... I think this is a dumb idea. My mother thinks this is a dumb idea. Everyone thinks this is a dumb idea but he's not listening to us. That's why, in your own stories about your fathers that I welcome you to leave in the comments, I also want to know if you have any horror stories about dads or anyone getting hurt on motorcycles. I'm gonna print them all out on index cards and place them in different parts of their house. Because I would like to still have a father to celebrate Father's Day with next year. I can't believe he's doing this.
He's normally a very level-headed guy. He crochets for goodness sakes! Anyway, what did you do with your dad on Father's Day? Have any good Father's Day or father-in-general memories to share? Are you a father and hope you get anything better than a tie clip this year? I got my dad "Motorcycling for Dummies."
It's passive aggressive, I know, but I had to.
7 comments:
Junior-
I enjoy your blog and the peek into your life.
I had a wonderful Father’s Day with my Dad. It was unplanned and unexpected. Generally Dad doesn’t care too much for going out to eat or the movies or many of the other activities I would choose as celebration. Instead we went to church then I made him his favorite Chicken Casserole for dinner. He, my baby sister and I sat around the kitchen table and just had pleasant conversation flipping through distant memories and current affairs. Like I said, it was unplanned and unexpected but pleasant and personal.
I have two quick stories to tell about my Dad. First was when I came out. He told me that he didn't know what "Being Gay" was all about, but that if that was what made me happy then he supported me. The other was my first Christmas away from the family. I called on Christmas Day and my Dad asked if there was anyone special in my life. I told him yes, and that his name was Lee. Dad then said, "Well, tell Lee we love him too because he is now part of our family."
Junior, your Dad is a grown man. If he wants to ride a motorcycle, I think the best you can do is to love and support him in all his choices. Unless it crosses swords with your moral values the best any of us can do is to live and let live. If you are worried about his safety, pay for him to attend Motor Cycle Training School. Buy him a full set of leathers. Help him find a Motor Cycle Club who you think would add to his enjoyment and safety.
Life is full of danger, but life is meant to be lived. Cars provide the illusion of safety through their advertising but people still die every day. What I hear you saying is you love your Father and want to enjoy many years into the future. An agile, athletic man like your Father probably doesn’t see the same height of danger that you sense. If he did he wouldn’t be pursuing this dream. Express your opinions openly and clearly. Then embrace and support his choice(s).
I think your bike-riding, crocheting dad sounds very cool. Give him a helmet and full leather for Father's Day. The full leather being for the motorcycle, of course, not so he can start going to bars with you.
Oh, Junior. Father's Day and I have a history. Last Father's Day I had to be at work not even realizing what day it was and why I was in such a pissy mood until three days later.
My dad passed away when I was 16, so Father's Day is just another day. I always want to call my grandpa up and wish him a Happy Father's Day, but I always forget to call my grandma on Mother's Day and she would remember that slight for years.
The suckiest part about it, my Dad had cancer for two years or so before he passed, and my strongest memories are of him after the surgery took half his jaw and he had a denture-y thing that he would have to take out and clean after meals. He would sometimes take it out and scare small children at church. I remember one time he was doped up on pain killers, and he insisted Boy George was in the room. Sad that those are the first memories that come to mind.
I know he was a really great father, and I know he loved all of us kids. So even though I never got to tell him I was gay (and my mother insists he would agree with her about how wrong it is) I know in my heart he would still love me at the very least, and I think he may even have accepted me better than she did. But I have no idea, and that hurts. It really does.
But enough emo-mopey-blues! I think your dad sounds hilarious! And while learning to ride a cycle at his age is borderline rediculous, I think it's rediculously cool. Older folks doing "young people" activities always make me smile and hope I will be as spontaneous when I'm older. Of course, it's not my dad. If it were, I'd be scare snotless.
Hi Dale! How have you been?! I've been a little like a chicken with its head cut off recently so I haven't been able to check in. But it sounds like you had a wonderful Father's Day. My worst Father's Day was the year I took Dad to see "Batman Forever." It was so boring. The best holidays are the ones you spend together. Wow. That may have been the most sentimental thing I've ever said on the blog!
And the story about your boyfriend at the time is so cute. I've never introduced a BF to either of my parents (not because I don't want to but mostly because the guys never make it that far...) so I hope that if either of them has a problem, they behave the way he did! Okay, onto this motorcycle thing. Yes, I know, he's a grown man. But a MOTORCYCLE! Motorcycles are dangerous for 20 year olds. Guys who wear bifocals should not be on motorcycles!
And Sam! I can't believe you cosign! This is dangerous!
Hi Paul! I always say this but thank you for sharing your stories. They always get me and hopefully they get other people here too and give them something to think about. I think your perspective on your parents is good. It's realistic and yet it allows for the goodness of human nature to shine through.
And I'm glad you recognize how COMPLETELY REDICULOUS it is for this man to be on a motorcycle!
I love your story and the hope that there are good fathers out there. Since I don't have one- by choice (his)- I don't celebrate.
But I can fully appreciate the importance of having a father figure who cares in your life.
Not to be confused with the father who doesn't acknowledge your existance for 19 years, comes back into your life, treats you like crap, subjects you to the harridian of a wife he now has, then abandons you again. *not bitter*.
Take what I said with a grain of salt. If my father said he wanted to get on a motorcycle I'd freak out. Of course, my dad is 84.
Hi Dani! Yeah, I feel you. That's why I think we need a Father's Day... So we can remind men what it means to be a good father.
LOL Sam! If your dad wants to ride a motorcycle, I say you should get him on "America's Got Talent" as the amazing 84 year old biker! My dad, not so much...
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