Juice with Junior

Just this past weekend, longtime reader and artist ermine sent me the above picture with a note saying that he "had to share" this with me.

As I opened the attachment, and the above picture started to crystallize, I was met with a sudden shock. What was this? Was I looking into the future when my dreams of being an international recording artist who has a pink album cover with me (with an afro!) wearing a baby blue suit holding a martini were answered!

Yeah, not so much. Instead, the picture is of a British dance/R&B artist named Junior (née Norman Giscombe) who scored a handful of hits both across the pond and in the States in the 80s, including "Mama Used to Say," for which I believe the above picture is a single cover.

How in the world did I never know about this?

What's so funny is that that joke I just made about being an international recording artist. Well, not so much of a joke as much as it is "something that Junior cries himself to sleep about every night while imaging thousands of screaming fans throwing roses at his feet."

Regardless, if my American Idol dreams ever did come true, I figured I'd call myself "junior" because it's what I've called myself for much of my life because I am a "Junior," my father has my same name, the whole thing (my parents also have other nicknames for me which I will NEVER DISCLOSE!) Now I thought I had the named covered; I knew about Junior Walker and Junior Senior but thought there were no other "Juniors" I'd have to contend with. But I never figured another Junior was already blazing the charts THE YEAR I WAS BORN! Wait for it... MIND BLOWN!

So I decided to check this Junior out. If I wanted Supreme Junior Dominance, I'd have to know what I was up against. So I found the video on the YouTubes...



Can you say... CATCHIEST SH!T EVER! Ever since I first listened to this song (that I SERIOUSLY NEVER HEARD BEFORE UNTIL ERMINE SENT ME THAT PICTURE!), it has literally been stuck in my head all weekend... "Rrrrr Mamma used to saaaay, take your time young man... Marrrrma used to say, don't you rush to get oooold!" Now I'm thinking, do you think if I ever (sorry, when I ever) become a famous singer, should I cover "Mama Used to Say"...

Is Junior covering Junior too meta? How about if I did it in a Junior's?

Have you picked up your mind off the floor yet, dusted it off, and put it back in your skull? Good, because I have a task for you. Know of any more "Juniors" that I should be aware of because I gotta get a stranglehold on this name or I'll never be able to use it. I'll have to be like P!nk and put an exclamation point in a weird place, and I'm not feeling that.

Oh and I already know about the obvious...


So you don't have to go there. Oh and baby in a Junior Mints box costume, wrong? Or the Wrongest Thing Ever? Now help me look for Juniors!

And while you're doing that, I also need to know: do you remember Junior Giscombe? Do you have a nickname that is also the name for something or someone else in popular culture? Or is your nickname "Junior" in which case, we need to have a little talk...