Juice with Junior

I saw this commercial on TV literally all week and one question popped into my mind...

'How many emergency room visits do you think this is gonna cause?'

Just ballpark it. Like two a week? Three a week? I'm going with two a week, plus chiropractors can expect a boost in patients who have landed flat on their backs after this thing falls from the door that was supposed to be supporting it. Not a good idea.

Oh, I also discovered something else...

The hotness of the model used in the advertisements for a fitness product is inversely related to the effectiveness and/or safety of that product.

Like, think John Basedow. He's not that hot, right? OK body, but not hot...

That's how you know those "Fitness Made Simple" tapes are safe and effective. All the Bowflex models...?

They're all crazy hot! Like the gentleman at the left, why hello, I notice you're all sweaty. Do you need a hand...?

Anyway, that's why you'll never see me using a Bowflex.

Because you know while they distract you with hot models, during a workout, one of those power rods is gonna come loose and smack you in the face. Actually, that's why I choose not to exercise at all. It's just safer that way. Now pass me a McFlurry!

I mustn't overexert myself...